Before Snuggling into Bed for a Rocky Nights Sleep

Pregnancy is not the time in your life where sleep is usually categorized as "awesome". Pregnancy begins with peeing throughout the night, leg cramps, heartburn, indigestion, and waking to morning sickness and an overwhelming feeling of exhaustion that increases throughout the day until you finally find yourself in a pile on the couch barely able to lift your head. (Maybe somewhat of an exaggeration but not by much).

Sleep can become very frustrating, so I encourage you to create a bedtime routine that focuses on you and relaxation before turning off the lights. Figure out a routine that helps you forget the worries and stresses of life and just quietly revel in the little life growing inside of you.

Here are a few products you may want to incorporate into your bedtime routine:

Begin your routine with a warm bath (not too hot) and let the days activities melt away. Bubble and Bee makes a wonderful, Chemical free, 100% Natural, Organic Fresh Lavender Shower Gel (beyond safe for you and your growing baby). It has a soothing smell and smooth feel with a great lather.

After your bath where all your worries evaporate!! Rub on some of Bubble and Bee's Organic Body Butter- this comes in an Unscented formula for those with the sensitive pregnancy nose. I remember hating any sort of smell when I was going to sleep or really during my entire pregnancy. Unlike many body butters this one absorbs into the skin without leaving a greasy feeling. And if pregnancy does not make you shy away from fragrance they have some lovely smelling options.

Another wonderful after body lotion, with a little smell, is Sweetsation Therapy's Organic Ellasti Body Hydrating Caviar Butter. It is full of all kinds of good stuff for your skin, has a light citrusy scent, and goes on smooth leaving your skin feeling soft. The citrus essential oil scent is said to be helpful in relieving stress and tension- exactly what you want to do as you wind down. (For a 20% discount on products use Code: 112093109 at checkout, expires 12//31/09).

After the bath, you will be cozy in pajamas and ready to settle down to a book and a cup of Organic Peaceful Mama Tea from Earth Mama. This tea is USDA certified 100% Organic; it will help you calm your mind and relax. "Formulated with tension easing lemon balm, calcium rich oat straw, calming chamomile, and a whiff of red raspberry leaf and orange peel to ensure a comforting cup." It really is the perfect end to your sleep routine!

Mama and Papa Bedtime Routine: Fun new product to soothe YOU to sleep

I have recently found a handful of pampering products that make you feel relaxed and ready to drift off to sleep. You can make them a part of your bedtime routine.

Begin the wind down of your evening an hour or so before your actual bedtime.

Isn't it nice to wash away the worries of your day and soak in silence as you get ready to sleep. I highly recommend DANI bath's Lemongrass Lavendar vitamin bath soak. It has a wonderful and calming fragrance, a skin nourishing feel, and gives you a wonderful reason to relax in a hot bath. It is made out of sea salt, aloe vera, mango seed oil, and vitamins A, E, and C


Ole Henriksen makes invigorating night gel that "contains a concentrated complex of alpha hydroxy acids, this powerful treatment gel will help you wake up to a brighter, more luminous complexion." It also has the benefits of being an all natural product that can help smooth and refine the texture of your skin. A great addition to your nightly bedtime routine.


I like to follow up the night gel with the best smelling night cream. I fell in love with this product the first time I used it. Sweetsation Therapy makes Organic Aqua Tica Botanical Night Cream. "This cream feels like thick water on your face, with Sea Kelp, Spirulina and Cucumer, providing continuous hydration to your skin all night long." It also contains a combination of essential oils that add nourishment, elasticity, suppleness, delay the aging process, take away dead skin cells and speed up renewal. "The relaxing blend of essential oils will put your mind in a happy place therefore helping you relax and drift to sleep." This is a wonderful organic product for before, during, and after pregnancy. (For a 20% discount on products use Code: 112093109 at checkout, expires 12//31/09).

After washing your face and brushing your teeth, light a candle, sit back with a book, and let your husband massage your feet.

DANI bath also makes a 100% soy wax candle that also comes in the calming Lemongrass and Lavendar scent. Continue your relaxing bedtime routine with this wonderful aroma wafting through the air.

And Sweetsation Therapy has an aromatherapy citrus scented massage oil. Baby Sweet Kisses Bottoms Up organic after baby bath soft massage oil can be used on your feet or your sweet baby's feet or whatever else needs massaging. It is made to moisturize, regenerate, and condition the skin with a blend of Sunflower Oil and Coconut Oil.

YOUR Bedtime Routine

You have your kids bedtime routine down: bath, pajamas, teeth, story, kiss and hug, and lights out. Then, you race off to clean up dinner, throw a load of laundry in, check email, and before you know it, it is 10pm, and you haven't taken any time for yourself. So, you sit down in front of the television, and watch Gray's Anatomy for an hour. And scurry off to get ready for bed, where you skip flossing because you are beat and you want to try and get your needed 8 hours of sleep.

Now in bed, you toss and turn as you try to quickly forget the trials and triumphs of the day and ignore the 'to dos' of tomorrow. Finally, you drift to sleep 45 minutes later as you try not to forget you are supposed to bring snack to preschool in the morning.

STOP!! We all need to stop. We are probably all guilty of this psychotic parent behavior. We need to create our own bedtime routine. We need to relax and calm down, take frantic down a few notches, and revisit the days when life was simpler. Don't remember? Well, let's start from scratch.

Some things to consider as you develop a nighttime routine:
1. What time do you need to get up? If you need to get up at 6am- figure out your bedtime by subtracting 8 hours... hmm- 10pm... yes, your new bedtime.
2. Turn off the TV, computer... an hour before bedtime- thank goodness for DVRs right?
3. Avoid exercising 3 hours before bedtime, especially if you are one to struggle with falling asleep at night.
4. Follow this routine weekdays and weekends.
5. What is your bedroom like? You want it to be dark, comfortable, and cool. You may also want to consider a fan, sound spa, or other white noise maker to help drown out outside noises and possibly your mind.
6. Plan your dinner time earlier- you want to be done eating 2-3 hours before bedtime.
7. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol.

Now, what should you include in your bedtime routine- some things to consider:

• Bath or shower- use some nice aromatherapy bath salts
• Journaling to clear your full mind
• Reading a book- make sure it a relaxing book
  
• Playing a game with your husband or talking about your days
• Listening to relaxing music
• Taking the time you need to wash your face, brush your teeth...
  

Article Review Day 4: Limit-Setting Sleep Disorder

Limit-Setting Sleep Disorder is a dysommnia.
Does anyone have a demanding preschooler? Does anyone has a preschooler who resists bedtime? Does anyone give into their preschooler? We all give into our kids at times- even the best parents have weak moments... consistent inconsitency can lead to this disorder.

The most common form of Limit-Setting Sleep Disorder is the preschooler who makes excessive (some requests may be normal but excessive is key) demands at bedtime to delay sleep. It looks pretty much the same in all homes: another story and another, water, potty again, another show, a parent going to sleep with the child or laying with them while they fall asleep. Whatever the demands may be, they make bedtime later, sleep time shorter, and bedtime and bedtime routine become inconsistent (ew! inconsistent).

"Bedtime resistance often leads to delayed sleep onset, which is classified as requiring longer than 20 minutes to fall asleep after going to bed. The degree of sleep loss depends on the actual length of time children require to fall asleep but is often enough to result in behavior and learning problems during the day."

How do I combat Limit-Setting Sleep Disorder you ask?:
-set up an appropriate bedtime where they get enough sleep. Figure out that appropriate bedtime based on how much your child's age needs.
-make sure your child is getting the needed amount of day sleep if that is appropriate for their age.
-create a bedtime routine. It may consist of: bath, book, PJs, teeth... What does your routine look like? I like to encourage a simple routine.
-help your child feel safe and secure in their sleep environment. You may also want to spend some fun time in their room during the day. You may also want to give children the chance to help arrange and decorate their own room. These things will help them feel comfortable being alone in their room.
-parental firmness- set limits and expectations and be consistent in them- both day and night.

Article Review: "Sleep Baby Sleep: Parents' Behavior has Direct Impact on Children's Slumber

I just read an article conducted by the Department of Psychology at the Universit de Montral and its affiliated hospital. This study "investigated how parenting can affect sleep in children."

So, you are wondering? Can I mess up my baby/child's sleep? This study indicates that "the way parents put their babies to bed has a direct impact on how well children sleep when they reach four to six years old." I have always known that the way you put your baby to sleep is extremely important and lasting, but here you can statistically see how much it impacts them.

"The researchers found that the manner 29-to41 month old toddlers were put to sleep influenced how they would slumber between the ages of 4 to 6. Parents behaviors that most affected childrens' sleep included:

• Giving children food or drink after they awoke, which provoked bad dreams, sleep of less than 10 hours or delays in falling back asleep.
• Co-sleeping with children when they awoke delayed their falling back asleep by 15 minutes."

The researchers also found:

• Mothers often think that infants cry only when hungry and so they may continue to respond with food or drink when 29-41 month old toddlers awake- which can cause bad dreams and shorter total sleep when children reach 4 to 6 years old.
  
• "Parents often opt for co-sleeping as a reaction, but co-sleeping is not the best option to prevent future sleep difficulties. Co-sleeping and other uncommon parental behaviors have negative consequences for future sleep."

I just heard a mother of six speak on Creating Independence in Your Children, she said to be careful that when you make a parenting decision you are making it as a choice on how you want to parent and not as a way to avoid a struggle. Keep this principle in mind as you decide how you want your infant, baby, child to go to sleep for naps and each night.

Sleep Product Review

So, what do you do when your new baby starts finding a way to escape from your oh-so-tight burrito wrap (swaddle)? You tried having them sleep unswaddled and it just didn't go very well. They still sleep so much better swaddled... what to do...

Kiddopotamus makes a wonderful swaddling blanket. It is easy, adjustable, and it will keep your baby snug in a swaddle a bit longer. I prefer the cotton over the fleece, and the organic option is wonderful.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Nighttime Sleep for Infants

Gosh, I appreciate sleep, and although I miss so much about the newborn stage, I don't miss sleep deprivation. Thank goodness it is short lived EVEN if it doesn't seem like it when you are in it.

Nighttime sleep is dictated by an infants hunger (for the most part).
What I did: I would breastfeed every three hours during the day. My last feeding would be at 10pm and then I would feed whenever the baby woke during the night (I would not wake them- please listen to a doctor if there is a reason to wake them). This is what I did- and it worked great! I know there are other ways to do this and do what works best- but just make sure everyone is getting as much sleep as possible.

Other tips to increase nighttime sleep:

• Start with a simple bedtime routine- bath and feeding... (don't forget to change the diaper before and put PJs on- there is a chance you may have to change the diaper again- have the necessary things ready and those sleeper gowns are great for quick diaper changes at night).
  
• Swaddle- get a good swaddling blanket and swaddle that sweet little thing as tight as it needs to be for them to not squirm out of it. Note: let your child dictate how long they need to be swaddled- don't move them out too soon. Swaddling helps them not wake themselves when those cute little newborn reflexes go off.
• Turn on a fan in the room- (SIDS prevention tip) and possible a sound spa to drown out other sounds.
  
• Feed your hungry baby- make sure you get them a full feeding to maximize your next stretch of sleep.
• Chill for a minute when you hear them making noise- babies and kids (and adults) make noise in their sleep- don't be overzealous to go get them- they may surprise you and go back to sleep.
  

And when will you be sleeping through the night? Hopefully soon! According to Marc Weissbluth, the author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, "many infants between six weeks and four months will naturally go to sleep late around 9:00 to 11:00 p.m., and sleep several hours without the need to be fed... After four months, infants tend to go to sleep earlier; around 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., and some now need to be fed once or twice before they wake up to start the day..." So, the answer is it will vary with your baby and what you are comfortable doing.

My first baby was sleeping through the night at five months (only after some specific sleep training to break her from the habit of waking every 2 hours to feed). My next two babies were sleeping through the night by eight to ten weeks.

One last thought, some days are funky; some nights are funky. Sometimes there is no clear explanation for why an infant has a bad night of sleep or whatever it may be that is 'off'. Begin again tomorrow

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: After jammies, teeth-brushing, a story and a hug, my 2.5 year old goes to bed pretty easily. But my kids recently spent two nights with my in-laws (over the holidays) who got the kids to sleep by sitting next to them and rubbing their backs. Now that we're back home, my 2.5 year old is asking for me to cuddle in bed with him and give him backrubs. How do I break this new habit he's picked up from staying with the grandparents?

A: That is cute and sweet in many ways. I actually have fond memories of having my back rubbed by my mom. If you don't want this to be part of your sleep routine then don't make it part of it. Tell him that this was part of what grandma did with you before bed, but at your house you do x,y, and z before bedtime. If you want it to be more visual for him, make a list with pictures of your bedtime routine and then he can see what happens every night at your house (brush teeth, PJs, story). If you like the idea then maybe rub his back as you sing a song or say a prayer with him before the lights go out.

Sleep Ponderings: Time Change

As you face any difficulties related to the time change you may want to take some time to tune-up your child's sleep. Here are some reminders:

• Is your child's room dark? Darkness triggers sleep. You can pick up some roller black-out shades at Lowe's or Home Depot- ready to install. You can also order some nicer black-out cell shades from a number of on-line or local window covering vendors. I highly recommend something.
• Are you using some sort of noise maker? Those birds are chirping a bit earlier these days- a "sound spa" or fan can help drown out those early morning sounds. Just because the birds are up doesn't mean we should be up.
• Does your bedtime and wake-up routine have consistency? If it doesn't adjust. An easy, short routine is usually best.
• It is dark earlier now- take the opportunity to easily adjust bedtimes that need to be adjusted. Over and over I am confronted with overtired kids. A kid does not need to be falling asleep to be ready for bed.
  

Sleep "Product" Review

Any wall calendar or calendar that your whole family can see may help working moms organize their lives better. A calendar your husband sees may help him see all that needs to get done and where people need to be when. It may also help your older children understand when things are going to happen: soccer practice, family movie night, dinner, bedtime, etc. Anything to share the responsibilities and help keep a routine in place is helpful when you have so much on your plate.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What do I include in a bedtime routine? I feel so frazzled at the end of the day- I need a plan.

A: Bath (unless you do this in the morning- maybe every other day depending on hygiene needs), PJs, teeth brushed, a good cuddle with a good book(s)- maybe you choose one and your child/children choose one (depending on what time allows for- more or less). Just enjoy being with your child and helping them wind down from the day. Make sure you leave enough time to go through the routine before they get tucked in and lights out.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Even when you work make your child's sleep (and yours a priority). Figure out how much sleep they need (see prior posts) and make sure they get it. This will make for a happier family and more productive. Set aside their bedtime routine as a special time to connect with them.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: Are bedtimes with my 9 year old still important? Don't they know when they are ready to go to sleep?

A: I taught fifth grade for many years. During my time teaching, numerous parents had decided that by fifth grade their child was ready to be responsible for himself. And time and time again they weren't. Our kids need us to guide them and make the decisions for them that they are not mature enough to make. This includes when to go to bed.

Please take the time to explain why they need 10-11 hours of sleep enough. Make it a math problem and have them figure out when there bedtime is, but enforce it. It is important.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Designate a homework time that is not right before bedtime- be consistent in this time. Leave kids with some wind down time before you tuck them in at an appropriate bedtime (so that they receive 10-11 hours of sleep).

Please feel free to share your ideal homework time.

Saturday Sleep Tip

According to an article from BabyCenter, you may want to try a "sleep instigating snack an hour before bedtime. Some foods naturally spark a release of serotonin, the body's built-in sleep inducer. Try a glass of milk, a piece of whole-wheat toast with a slice of cheese, half a peanut butter sandwich, or oatmeal with bananas."

This tip of course would have to fit with your schedule, and skip if your kids have no problems falling asleep.

In contrast, you want to avoid sugary and caffeine filled foods before bed.

Even the food they do or do not eat can and should be part of the right bedtime routine.

Sleep "Product" Review

Let's note that my sleep "product's" are not necessarily something that you can buy at the store to make sleep occur. They are either some sort of contraption, sleep aid, or something loosely related to sleep.

My kids enjoy the book Owen by Kevin Henkes. It is a cute story about a mouse who is attached to his fuzzy yellow blanket, Fuzzy. This blanket goes with him everywhere. The goal of the parents in the story is to get Owen to not bring his blanket to school. It is a nice story about a blanket, parents, and transitioning to school.

Courtney's Sleep Tips on Momtrends

Friends,
Check out Nicole Feliciano's blog, momtrends.blogspot.com. The August 24th entry features some back-to-school sleep tips from me and other back-to-school tips. Enjoy.

I will be out of town for a week and will resume blogging on my return.

Happy Sleeping!!

Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I keep my independent three- year old in his big boy bed?

A: There are a number of options for attacking this problem... all of which you may have to try in an attempt to rectify the situation... and you will have to figure out what works for your child.

• Set an appropriate bedtime based on your child's age-appropriate sleep needs.
  
• Make sure that you have a calming, consistent, and concise bedtime routine- possibly a bath, a story (not a library but a couple and not TV in place of a story), and to bed- avoid long drawn out routines, lists of excuses, and whatever else your creative child may conjure up.
• Have children get a drink and go potty before you put them in bed- take care of those inevitable excuses before they use them.
  
• Take the sleep environment into consideration. Turn off the lights- a dark room triggers sleep. Other sleep environment pluses: cool temperature, quiet, white noise.
• Maybe your child needs something comforting to sleep with: stuffed animal, blanket.
• Development of nighttime fears is normal and common at this age- leave their door open a crack if that helps them feel better, but I would avoid leaving bedroom lights on or forming any other habits that you don't want to continue. Also, think about the things that they watch- we don't want to give them something for their fears to feed on.

So, that covers everything to do to help prepare your child to stay in bed and fall asleep easily.

BUT, what if they don't stay in bed?

• Create a list of sleep rules along these lines: stay in bed, lay still, stay quiet, go to sleep (suggested from Healthy Sleep Habits). Go over these with your child before they go to sleep. Maybe demonstrate what this looks like or coach them through each of these actions, "Show me how you close your eyes sweetie." etc.
• If they get out of bed, silently walk them back to their room/bed. Don't give them any positive or negative attention- anything to converse about or add to staying up later. Do this again and again if it happens.
• Create an award system. Possibly give them a sticker on a card each night that they stay in their bed and when they get five stickers they get ___. Whatever is motivating to them.
• Call me or another sleep consultant to help you and your child get the sleep you need.
  

Saturday Sleep Tip

Set an early and appropriate bedtime and STICK TO IT. Preschoolers need between 10.5 and 13 hours of sleep a night. Toddlers need between 12 and 14 hours of sleep per night. Figure out what time they wake up or what time they have to be up for preschool or whatever your morning needs are and decide on a bedtime accordingly. Fight against falling into their persuasions of staying up later. Good luck.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma: Preschoolers

Q: My preschooler comes home from school wired. He has no interest in taking a nap but needs to, what do I do?

A: Preschool can leave a child very excited about their day. If you can leave sometime between preschool pick-up and naptime that would be ideal. You may need to eat lunch (do that first). Then, depending on the amount of dirt and sweat he accumulated in his busy day a bath may be a good idea. Then, take some time to cool down and calm down: read a few books, have him tell you about his day, cuddle. Maybe just take 10-15 minutes but make it calming. And then explain that he needs to take a nap for a little bit so that you guys can have more fun in the afternoon. Also, make sure that the naptime isn't too late- you don't want him to become overtired, and you want to leave enough wake time before bedtime. Be calm, firm, and consistent in your naptime routine. Also, remember that sometime between age 3 and age 6 kids drop their naps... look for more on that later this week.