Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I soothe my child's sleep terrors?
A: Remember from my post the other day, sleep terrors are different than nightmares. Taking that into consideration, if you have identified that your 18 month old+ is having night terrors, you may ask, what you can do to soothe them. Recall, your child is not awake during night terrors, so soothing is some what more for you than your child. If your child is out of their bed- gently guide them back to their bed (REMEMBER they are asleep and act accordingly). It is normal for them to last as long as five to fifteen minutes.

According to Dr. Marc Weissbluth in Happy Sleep Habits Happy Child "Night terrors appear more often when a child has a fever or when sleep patterns are disrupted naturally, such as on long trips, during school vacations, during holidays, or when relatives come to visit. Recurrent night terrors are also often associated with chronically abnormal sleep schedules. Enabling them to get more sleep is the way of treating over-tired children who have frequent night terrors. I have observed that night terrors disappear when the parents moved the bedtime earlier by only thirty minutes."

So friends:
-Don't freak out- as a out of control sleeping, screaming child can be concerning.
-Make sure they aren't sick.
-Take them calmly and gently back to their bed- you don't need to wake them up.
-Evaluate their sleep schedule- are they getting enough sleep. Make adjustments as needed.

Article Review Day 11: Rythmic Movement Disorder

Rythmic Movement Disorder is dyssomnia.

I am just going to tell you what the article states on this issue. It is beyond me.

"Rhythmic movement disorder involves the rhythmic movement of large muscle groups, such as the head and neck, and occurs when the child is drowsy, attempting to fall asleep, and can continue into stage 1 sleep. The first incidence usually occurs before the second birthday; headbanging and body-rocking are the most common types seen in practice. Polysomnographic monitoring during an episode can rule out a medical cause such as seizure activity. The disorder is usually transient and self-limited and seldom requires treatment."

Sleep Product Review: Traveller by phil & teds

I have been a mother for five years. During those five years, I have lugged around a heavy pack-n-play everywhere- onto airplanes, to grandma's house, to playgroups, to friends houses, to the beach- wherever sleep needed to happen I took that heavy piece of baby equipment. Many times I have been seen with a pregnant belly, toddler on hip, diaper bag on shoulder, pack-n-play in hand, and preschooler holding onto my leg. I could not have done as much as I have without that wonderful portable sleep environment, for which I am very thankful!

But, over the years I have also wished that it wasn't so heavy- that it wasn't something I had to "lug around", and could possibly cause a back injury (slightly kidding- I have a bad back and I am not that big of a person). Well, friends there is now something that is lighter, something that can lessen our load as mothers and fathers. It is called the Traveller by phil & teds . This sleep cot is made to travel with its compact size (it can easily fit in the overhead baggage compartment on an airplane or the storage space under a stroller) and light load- a mere 6 pounds when all is said and done. This really is the travel bed to buy if you are looking for a lightweight, easily luggable portable sleep environment.

What else does the Traveller offer you may wonder?

• A self-expanding mattress that fits in-between two pieces of flame retardant fabric (the seal is on the inside of the lining). Tip: you will need to help it along for the first few times by blowing into the valve. This mattress is a thermo-insulated pad- like a camping pad.
• Rip stop fabric- if you get a hole in the material it will stop right there.
• Easy to put together- honestly it is not as fast as a pack-n-play being opened by a seasoned user, but it is pretty dang quick.
• The fabric is easy to clean by just wiping it off. There is no option for a sheet since the mattress is in-between two pieces of fabric. You could use an infant sleeping bad, or place something like the Phil & Ted Cocoon or Snuggle and Snooze inside for young babies.
• There are breathable screens for closing it up if you choose, a UV screen option called Slim Shadee (for snoozing on the beach), and stakes for keeping it outside camping if you desire. It really is an inside and outside playpen/sleep option.
• It is very strong- don't worry about it not being as sturdy as its alternatives. It also includes the bonus of a Global Safety Certification
• And it fits through doors all set-up. Can you believe that?
  

So, as you consider the travel bed for you and yours, I would consider what you plan on using it for- if it is just going to sit in your house and never move by all means go with the standard travel bed. If you plan on travel, visiting, and the parental role of "lugging", you may want to consider the Traveller and lighten your load.

The Traveller comes in Black, Red, and a limited edition Graffiti print.
You can purchase it for $199.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What are some ways I can deal with my child when he wakes up crying and screaming because he has had a nightmare?

A: Getting woken up in the middle of the night in and of itself can be a frustrating experience, so stay calm- be patient... If your child has come to your room, I suggest walking him back to his room. If he is in his own room screaming go to his room. In your sleepy haze identify if this is a nightmare or night terror (see the post from May 21).

Now, that you have identified it as a nightmare try and calm him down- usually you being there and holding him will do just that. If needed, you may have to take him potty or get him a drink of water (possibly place one on his night stand before bed). Once he has calmed down, you can ask him to tell you why he is so upset. Then you can talk to him about it and how funny things can happen in our heads- try to understand his fears and make sure not to make fun of them. At this point you may want to help him think about telling the bad guys to "go away". If you are a praying family you can pray for him and pray for the room. You can look around the room and talk about how safe it is and how safe the house is and how close mommy and daddy are to his room. "Communicate the idea of safety over and over again (NSF)." "Teach your child coping skills and alternative ways to respond." Keep in mind that he needs to go back to sleep and get needed rest (as do you- which I'm sure is ringing in your head). Make sure he is calm when you prepare to leave him. He may start to freak out when you actually leave- at that point you can say that you will leave the door open a crack for tonight if you want. Nightmares can be difficult to deal with, below is a list of possible strategies to try.

Nightmare prevention strategies (of course these are not fool proof):

-Consider everything that your child puts into his mind- TV, movies, video games- and remember each child and the way they process things is different
-Consider any undue stresses you or your husband inadvertently put on your child- arguing, talking about stressful situations...
-Consider any other negative situations that could be provoking the nightmares (kids at school...)
-Spend some time in the dark at other times- play flashlight tag or read a story in the dark with a flashlight. Even clean or play under bed, in their closet, or wherever seems scary- "Make friends with the dark."
-Be wary to bring your child into your bed- if you do it may quickly become your child's way of coping with nightmares- habits are formed quickly.
-Be wary of introducing a light on, nightlight, door open, or other such thing that may end up hindering sleep- be deliberate about the choices you make. Some suggest that the nightlight may suggest that darkness is something to fear.
-Give your child some resources to use during the nightmare: tell the child that he/she can tell the 'bad guy or bad thing' to "go away" or tell the child to choose to not go to the scary place in the dream.
-Add something to your bedtime routine: prayer for the situation and protection during dreaming, a snack (complex carbohydrate and protein combo), take some extra time to calm down before bedtime (soothing music, mellow story time- think about the books you are reading).
-After the nightmare: have the child tell you the "story" of it and have each family member (or whomever) change the ending to a happy ending where the "child surmounts of obstacle".
-Leave a cup of water on their night stand- don't bring them water in the night.
-Monitor your child's nightmares- if they become extreme or too often you may want to consult a doctor.

Resources used:
-Laurie Walker, "How to Stop Nightmares in Children"
-Sleep Foundation, "Children and Bedtime Fears and Nightmares"
-Marc Weisbluth, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child

Other Resources You May Want to Check Out:
- Alan Siegel, "Nightmare Remedies"
-American Academy of Sleep Medicine, "Sleeping Scared: Nightmares in Children"
-Center for Effective Parenting, "Nightmares"

Article Review Day 10: Sleep Terrors vs. Nightmares

My oldest daughter has nightmares every once and awhile. She wakes up upset and tells me about the nightmare or "bad dream" as we call them. They are usually about something that she has heard about or seen the day before. I am already very cautious about what my children watch on television, but I am extra cautious about what my daughter watches since she is very sensitive. I am also cautious about the conversations my husband and I have around her and the other kids- I don't want my children to be burdened with undue stress that they don't understand.

Nightmares occur in 25% to 50% of children ages 3 to 6. Both boys and girls struggle with these. "Occasional nightmares are not worrisome, but recurrent nightmares or those with disturbing content may indicate excessive daytime stress. You should gently question children regarding their daytime experiences such as tv shows or encounters with other children to try to determine possible frightening content or situations." After you figure out why your child is having these nightmares you should do whatever you can to "eliminate or reduce the child's exposure" to whatever is causing the nightmares.

I know parents that also struggle with sleep terrors. You may wonder what the difference is? Both are just being scared during sleep, right?

Well, sleep terrors usually begin after 18 months old, where nightmares usually begin between 36 and 72 months old. Sleep terrors usually occur during the first third of the night, where nightmares occur during the last half of the night. Sleep terrors occur during NREM (non-rapid eye movement, stages 1 to 4) and nightmares occur during REM sleep (stage 5). With sleep terrors the child appears extremely agitated- screaming, increased heart rate, and dialated pupils could occur. With nightmares the child is sometimes agitated but to a much lesser extent. The child does not wake up during sleep terrors even though they may seem awake and they don't usually remember in the morning; the child does wake up with a nightmare and can remember details and often still remembers in the morning. The child does return to sleep easily with sleep terrors and it is suggested that you gently guide them back to their bed. The child does not return to sleep easily with nightmares.

"Children with more violent, prolonged, or unusual episodes should be evaluated at a pediatric sleep disorders center. Although sleep terrors are often very disturbing to parents, they can be reassured that sleep terrors are a developmentatl phenomenon and are not a sign of underlying issues."

Please share your experiences with sleep terrors and nightmares.

And another resource from a recent article from the National Sleep Foundation: nightmares

Sleep Ponderings from Me: How I Deal with the Light Nights

I have been sick this past week, so last night I was laying in bed while my husband put our kids down. I heard my three-year old son telling him, "It's not bedtime. It's still light outside. Why do I have to go to bed in the day?"My husband proceeded to tell him that even though it it light out it is still night time and bedtime, kissed him, and told him goodnight.

At our house, we don't use the light to determine our childrens' bedtime; we use their amount of needed sleep. Our kids need to go to bed at 7pm (give or take a few) to be well-rested and thus well-tempered the next day. Both my husband and I can tell a significant difference in their behavior if their needed sleep is compromised, so we make it a point to do this as infrequently as possible... even when they protest, even when it is still light out; even when they protest about it being light out. You can see it in the way my husband handled my son's "light outside" question.

Some tips for keeping their bedtime appropriate as the days get longer:
-continue with your sleep schedule and bedtime routine
-make sure their bedroom is dark- darkness cues sleep
-use a sound spa to drown out outside noises that may provoke curiosity and wandering
-stick to the plan- don't waiver by your child's protests- it is good and ok to set boundaries and say no
-pay attention to the clock- make sure that you eat dinner at the same time and not let the continued light push evening events back and thus push bedtime back

Product Review: Summer PJs

Cuddling up in some cozy pajamas has to be one of the best ways to end a busy day of playing in the sun, splashing in the waves at the beach, digging in the sand, fishing at the lake, or whatever your summer activities entail.

Mini Boden is offering a great selection of summer PJs for girls and boys. They have a variety of styles: shorts, pants, big-airy legs, nightgowns. Their pajamas are soft and comfy. They come in a variety of adorable styles and prints: appliqued butterflies, polka dots, and pretty flowers for the girls, and bold stripes with simple logos for the boys . My five-year old daughter loves the Boden pajamas; she will wear them night after night if I let her!

Beyond aesthetics, they wash well- how many times have you had a pair of cheap pajamas shrink, or the fabric get all bally, or when they shrink just around the wrists. Boden pajamas wash well. Their snug fit conforms to CFR guidelines. They really are a good value- many times I find that spending a bit more gets me a product that lasts. As your kids transition out of their footed pajamas and into their summer alternative take a look at Mini Boden.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What is the best way to keep your kids sleep on schedule when traveling?

A: When you travel it is best to plan ahead if you want your kids to get the sleep they need (which will also mean avoiding cranky kids).

Some things to consider as you plan for your summer vacation:

-The all out indulgence is to bring a babysitter. Kids can get the naps and early bedtimes they need, and you and your husband can do all the things you want to do on the vacation. Still spend plenty of time with the kids- use the babysitters as extra hands or let them have some free time.

-Keep the same schedule you follow at home: make dinner reservations early, so you can get back and get the kids ready and into bed.

-Get a suite or adjoining hotel room. This way you can stay up and watch a movie while your kids sleep.

-Don't skip naps. If you have a baby with an early nap and you have plans try to create an adequate sleep environment in a pack n play at the location (pool, beach, someone else's house) or try using a stroller with a bassinet. In either situation, make sure the baby has a lovie if they usually have one, a paci if they usually have one, are swaddled if that is the usual, have a fairly dark environment, have adequate airflow, have a sound spa (don't forget the batteries!). Try to be back at the hotel for afternoon naps- maybe you and your husband can switch days staying with the kids while the other gets to do soemthing fun.

-Don't forget about your bedtime sleep routine. Some nights will just be later and busyer, but if you can try to still do bath, book, pjs, bed, or whatever your normal sleep routine happens to be.

-If you are changing time zones, immediately change to the new time. Your kids will be tired from travel, so just run your normal schedule off of the new cities time. And do the same when you get home.

And remember it is vacation- there are exceptions, indulgences, and missed sleep. But, if you try to limit those you and your children will all have a much more enjoyable vacation.

Article Review Day 9: Sleepwalking

I'm sure everyone has heard stories of someone who sleepwalks... people eating in their sleep, walking through the house, or??? Please feel free to share a sleepwalking story.

"Sleepwalking is common, occurring in 1%- 15% of children, and usually begins when the child is between the ages of 4 and 8 years." So, what does it really mean to sleepwalk? "A sleep walking episode consists of minor actions such as sitting up in bed, walking around the room or house, or other activities... Sleepwalking can persist into late adolescence and adulthood."

What should you be wary of if you have a child who sleepwalks? Take precautions to guard doors, windows, and stairs. "The sleepwalker does not meaningfully interact with people and is often easily agitated. Arousal is difficult and, if successful, the child will appear confused. Recollection of the event is rare."

So, what should you do? Gently direct your child back to bed without waking them up. You should intervene to avoid an injury. You may want to come up with a creative solution that will inform you if your child is leaving their room, for example, a bell on the bedroom door, or? Please share anything you have found to be helpful.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Summertime Travels and Sleep

As I think about traveling this summer and all the joys and miseries of travel with young children, I am reminded of a recent experience that I think could easily transfer to better sleep in small confined space during travels this summer.

Recently, due to finances my family had to rent out our house and move in with my parents for 7 months. We just moved back and our happy to be in our own space and thankful to my parents for extending their gracious hand...

But, while we were staying with them my three children had to share a bedroom. When we moved in they were 4, 2, and 6 months. My youngest and oldest had been sharing a room successfully since my baby was a couple months old. My two-year old son had had his own room and struggled to go to sleep in the same room as his sisters nightly. I identified this struggle as related to his crazy boy nature and his age. Eventually, we just started putting him to sleep at night in our room and then moving him when we went to bed. This was difficult since our room was really our only quiet space... but we dealt.

Towards the end of our stay, I had been reading a book called Raising Godly Tomatoes by Elizabeth Krueger. (This book is Christian based but no matter your beliefs it has many valuable lessons to teach). Anyways, she talks about having your children always obey and wait for them to do it versus solely disciplining them for not obeying and moving on. She also talks about having them practice the behaviors you want them to do. As I reflected on this thought, I was shocked I had never come up with it on my own. As a teacher, I knew the huge importance of modeling and practice. I often had my children practice different things, and I often modeled the correct way to respond to something (whether that be without an attitude or using please/thank you...). But, I had never completed the connection with following up disobedience with practice, modeling, and waiting for them to obey.

One evening, as I was getting ready to put my son to bed in my bed and the girls in the kids room, I stopped. I had stuff I needed to do- pay bills, sit in silence... I decided that we should practice having all the kids sleep in the same room right then. So, I had my son and oldest daughter get in their beds and we turned off the light and then practiced "sleeping" without messing around or talking to each other. Then, I had them get up quietly and practice leaving their room (the baby usually gets woken up by the older two in the morning). Then, we practiced this a few more times. That night my kids all went straight to sleep without a peep... and the next night... and the next...

My son was a bit older at the time I did this training than when we moved in, and they had been living in this situation for months. These could have been factors that effected the situation and outcome. But, we need to take a minute and think that sometimes we have expectations for our children to do things that that they may not completely grasp. It is amazing what a bit of practice, modeling, and clear guidance can do for our children's understanding in any situation.

This summer as you share a hotel room, or a tent, or have to sleep in the car on a long road trip... instead of just telling your children to go to sleep in the new situation and then getting frustrated with them when they don't... take the time to model for them what you expect this to look like. And then have them practice a few times to get the feel for what you are expecting. It may make a world of a difference.

*Also, try to recreate your child's sleep environment to the best of your ability: bring their lovies, read a story if that is part of your routine, bring a sound spa- they take batteries, try to make it dark (hotel rooms are great for this). Try to follow a similar routine to the one you follow at home.

Amazon Dream Registry Sweepstakes

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Article Review Day 8: Confusional Arousals

Confusional Arousals is a parasomnia.

Have you ever heard your child have minor episodes of mumbling or grimacing, disorientation, or inappropriate behaviors during sleep? I have not experienced these with my children, but some parents have. "Confusional arousal occurs in the first 3 hours after sleep onset when the child experiences an abrupt transition from the deepest phases of NREM sleep" to lighter sleep stages. Sometimes parents don't even know this occurs because the child stays asleep during the episode and doesn't remember the next day.

If you do notice such an episode with your child, it is good to know:

• "Most episodes are brief, averaging 2 to 10 minutes in duration, and end when the child re-enters deep sleep."
• "Predisposing factors include obstructive sleep apnea, overtiredness, sleep deprivation, and irregular wake/sleep schedules..."
• "These episodes are harmless and you should not awaken the child."
• "Confusional arousals diminish as the child matures."
• If your child also has one of the predisposing factors you need to look into altering their sleep schedule so they can get the appropriate amount of sleep.