When Does School Start?

School has started- fun and exciting and busy to say the least. The rush of the morning- getting everyone dressed and fed and out the door on-time. The rush of the afternoon: school pick-up, extra activities, homework, reading, dinner, bedtime routine... the list just seems to grow as I run through my own nightly ritual... you can fill in the rest of the to-dos that exhaust the hours from the time the school bell rings until the time our child's head hits the pillow.

In all the busyness of the school year we often forget about our children's necessary sleep or by virtue of the busyness it gets pushed aside as we try to get it all done (an aside: is that even possible?)

I encourage you to know how much sleep your child needs on a daily basis to function as a kind human that is able to focus and perform at school and home. I also encourage you to make it a PRIORITY that they get that sleep and when they don't that you make sure that they make it up.

This is a great table to help you figure out about how much sleep your child needs, from the National Sleep Foundation:

My Top 10 Sleep Tips for Parents

1. Prioritize your children's sleep- they need it and you need it. This is the only way for you to get good sleep!! If you need help to make this happen- get it!!

2. Now, make your sleep a priority. Come up with a daily routine of 'to dos' so you have an efficient plan every night to get stuff done and not continue the endless list of 'to dos' late into the night. Take the time to wind down every evening and go to bed with enough time to get a full night's sleep.

3. Just like you make sure your children's sleep environment is quiet, cool, and comfy- make sure yours is too. Make sure you have a good pillow. Make sure you let your room cool off on those hot summer nights. Make sure your room is quiet- try a sound spa or white noise machine.

4. Many of us have tvs in our room and will sit in bed and watch tv or read in bed until you fall asleep. It is suggested that the bedroom is used only for sleep and sex. If you struggle with falling asleep at night, I would make a point of cutting out extra bedroom uses.

5. Avoid caffeine, nicotine, and alcohol close to bedtime.

6. Exercise! Exercise is a great way to prepare yourself to fall asleep at night. But, make sure you finish 2-3 hours before lights out.

7. Nix the bedtime snacks or that bowl of ice cream before crawling into bed. It is best to finish eating a couple hours before hitting the sack.

8. Don't end your night by pushing the off button on the tv. Try to read, take a bath, talk to your husband... as part of your wind down time. Turn off the tv an hour before going to bed.

9. Avoid stressful conversations in bed or right before bed. You want to go to bed relaxed and ready for dreams of sugar plums. I know this from personal experience- you will miss out on your much needed sleep as you process these issues. Save them for an earlier hour.

10. If sleep issues continue talk to a doctor or other sleep specialist.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I soothe my child's sleep terrors?
A: Remember from my post the other day, sleep terrors are different than nightmares. Taking that into consideration, if you have identified that your 18 month old+ is having night terrors, you may ask, what you can do to soothe them. Recall, your child is not awake during night terrors, so soothing is some what more for you than your child. If your child is out of their bed- gently guide them back to their bed (REMEMBER they are asleep and act accordingly). It is normal for them to last as long as five to fifteen minutes.

According to Dr. Marc Weissbluth in Happy Sleep Habits Happy Child "Night terrors appear more often when a child has a fever or when sleep patterns are disrupted naturally, such as on long trips, during school vacations, during holidays, or when relatives come to visit. Recurrent night terrors are also often associated with chronically abnormal sleep schedules. Enabling them to get more sleep is the way of treating over-tired children who have frequent night terrors. I have observed that night terrors disappear when the parents moved the bedtime earlier by only thirty minutes."

So friends:
-Don't freak out- as a out of control sleeping, screaming child can be concerning.
-Make sure they aren't sick.
-Take them calmly and gently back to their bed- you don't need to wake them up.
-Evaluate their sleep schedule- are they getting enough sleep. Make adjustments as needed.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: How I Deal with the Light Nights

I have been sick this past week, so last night I was laying in bed while my husband put our kids down. I heard my three-year old son telling him, "It's not bedtime. It's still light outside. Why do I have to go to bed in the day?"My husband proceeded to tell him that even though it it light out it is still night time and bedtime, kissed him, and told him goodnight.

At our house, we don't use the light to determine our childrens' bedtime; we use their amount of needed sleep. Our kids need to go to bed at 7pm (give or take a few) to be well-rested and thus well-tempered the next day. Both my husband and I can tell a significant difference in their behavior if their needed sleep is compromised, so we make it a point to do this as infrequently as possible... even when they protest, even when it is still light out; even when they protest about it being light out. You can see it in the way my husband handled my son's "light outside" question.

Some tips for keeping their bedtime appropriate as the days get longer:
-continue with your sleep schedule and bedtime routine
-make sure their bedroom is dark- darkness cues sleep
-use a sound spa to drown out outside noises that may provoke curiosity and wandering
-stick to the plan- don't waiver by your child's protests- it is good and ok to set boundaries and say no
-pay attention to the clock- make sure that you eat dinner at the same time and not let the continued light push evening events back and thus push bedtime back

National Sleep Awareness Week Just Ended...

...And here are some resources and thoughts from the Sleep Foundation website:

• New Book Details How to Get A Good Night's Sleep
  "A Good Night’s Sleep, a new book by National Sleep Foundation Board Chairman Meir H. Kryger, MD, FRCPC, will teach you everything you need to know about sleep."
• Some results from the sleep poll that was taken, can you identify with?: "The quick polls, which were featured daily on sleepfoundation.org, found that employment concerns (24 percent) and personal financial concerns (24 percent) were two of the top reasons people couldn't sleep at night.
• Here is a link to Children's Sleep that reiterates the amount of sleep children should be getting. Are your kids getting what they should?
  

Saturday Sleep Tip

When kids are sick make sure they get enough sleep and rest, so they recover quickly. 

Some tips I just read in Parents magazine to try to limit sickness spreading: 

WASH YOUR HANDS!! again and again; make the kitchen off limits for the sick child/children; switch to hot water on laundry day; "cut down on cuddles", don't let your kids share with each other (things that will spread sickness); clean bathrooms, faucets, handles, doorknobs (may want to try using vinegar and water as a non-toxic cleaner- my tip); clean kids toys when sickness has ended (The suggested "Dr. Tierno's  bug-fighting routine: clean toys with peroxide or white vinegar, wash them with soap and hot water, then rinse in peroxide or vinegar."

They also highlighted "3 Germ Hot Spots": Grocer cart handles, playground equipment, your kitchen sink

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Sickness and Sleep

So, it is December 4th, and we have already been through a few colds. So, how should we deal with the looming sickness and helping everyone in the house get the most sleep.

Here are a few things I have done in the past:

• My oldest got a cold which turned into a lingering cough... she would cough throughout the night for long stretches and wake up her baby sister who shares a room with her. After a couple days of this happening, I made a little bed on the floor in our room and my oldest slept in there. This was a good solution- we all slept through the night. I moved her back to her room as the coughing seemed to get less. Even though, my almost five year old daughter didn't take naps- she took a nap each day that week.
  
• When my son was 21 months old he got croup which within a day turned into pneumonia... to make a long story and a long night short- he ended up in the hospital for a couple days because of his difficulty breathing. He slept a lot in the hospital. When we got home he would play for a couple minutes and then need to lay down or go to sleep. Even though he was on a one nap a day schedule, I would just put him down whenever he started to fall asleep or seemed to need a nap. 

From both of these situations, you learn that sleep needs to be adjusted to maximize sleep for your home and for the sick child. Sleep is very important when your children are sick. Adjust nap schedules to fit your child's needs until they are better. 

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Holidays

As the exciting holidays approach you have to make lots of choices when you have children. Do you vaguely remember those pre-children days where you went to every holiday event without a care in the world? Where you would stay out until whenever and know that sleep could be reclaimed the next morning?

Well, since those days are over choices have to be made.
We have to decide when to get a babysitter (if you can find one during the holiday season), when to take the kids, when to let the kids stay up later, when to skip a nap... The holiday season can leave you and your kids thoroughly exhausted. So, think about the choices you are going to have to make.

• Plan now for the babysitters you will need so you can go out.
  
• Plan out how you can get your kids enough sleep on the actual chaotic holiday(s). Getting your kids enough sleep can help you avoid meltdowns, tantrums, and whatever else bright colors, lights, sugar, and gifts stimulate in a child.
• If you know your kids are going to have to stay up late, try to offset that with a nap.
• Limit sugar as best you can... for all the obvious reasons.
• With all the excitement make sure you help them wind down before taking a nap or going to bed.
• If it is going to be the best idea for your child to go to bed at another location- bring whatever you need- pjs, pack n play, noise maker, blankie...
• Make age appropriate decisions: Celebrate the holiday, so that they participate in some of it, you and the grandparents can get pictures, and then they can go to sleep- they don't need to participate in the entire holiday when they are young
  
• Plan some mellow post-holiday days with some extra sleep and rest to recuperate from the crazy holiday(s)

You will all enjoy and get the most out of the holidays if you get enough sleep. Enjoy all the extras within reason. Find balance this holiday season between the fun, festivities, and sleep.

Question for You

Working Moms: How do you get your kids enough sleep when they go to daycare?

Sleep "Product" Review

Magazines are full of articles related to sleep- some helpful, some not. I just read an article in Babble (on-line http://babble.com/Bedtime-An-expert-troubleshoots-your-sleep-training/). It summarized three of the most common bedtime mistakes according to Dr. Carol Ash (medical director of Sleep for Life).

1. Thinking 8 is enough- our kids need more than 8 hours of sleep. Our kids are not us and have different sleep needs.
2. Rocking or singing your kid to sleep- our kids need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and the sooner the better. You are a guide in the process not doing it for them.
3. Putting a basketball court in the bedroom- we need to create an environment conducive to sleep- try dark, white noise, cool, no TV or other media

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What do I include in a bedtime routine? I feel so frazzled at the end of the day- I need a plan.

A: Bath (unless you do this in the morning- maybe every other day depending on hygiene needs), PJs, teeth brushed, a good cuddle with a good book(s)- maybe you choose one and your child/children choose one (depending on what time allows for- more or less). Just enjoy being with your child and helping them wind down from the day. Make sure you leave enough time to go through the routine before they get tucked in and lights out.

Question for You

Do you work? From home or other? How do you balance your children's sleep needs with work?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: Some nights I get home from work after my kids bedtime? How do I find time with them and meet my work needs?

A: Each situation is different. I encourage you to set your child's sleep as a high priority at your home. It will make everyone happier to be well-slept. It is also important for school performance, behavior, good daytime sleep, brain development, and more.

Now, finding time for you and your child on the days you don't make it home. Ideas: spend some special time in the morning if that works out, go home for your lunch break if possible, try using Skype to talk and see each other over the computer or just use a phone, leave them sweet notes or pictures in their lunchbox/with their dinner/with their toothbrush... , ask them to write or dictate a note to you telling about their day, lay out their pjs and a special story or right them a little bedtime story to have read to them, tell them that you will come in and cuddle with them when you get home (and do it- you will both appreciate the physical touch- even if they are asleep- don't wake them), set aside a large chunk of time when you can to really connect with them.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Even when you work make your child's sleep (and yours a priority). Figure out how much sleep they need (see prior posts) and make sure they get it. This will make for a happier family and more productive. Set aside their bedtime routine as a special time to connect with them.

Ponderings from Who?

Who am I again?
My name is Courtney Graham. I am a mother of three wonderful kids (Mackenzie 4 1/2, Mason 2 1/2, Marin 6 months). I have a background in teaching- six years teaching elementary school, a Master's in Education.
Sleep became an interest of mine when my first child was not born sleeping whenever she needed to- I had an overtired, crying baby, few parent friends, and I was tired. So, I started reading like crazy. I read anything and everything. And tried anything and everything. A lot worked or helped, some didn't. But I learned a lot about sleep, infant and child sleep needs, etc. I'm very thankful to have gone through that experience- just thinking about it makes me tired :).
I finally figured out what worked when Mackenzie was five months old- after that she was an amazing sleeper for naps and nighttime sleep. I did things much differently from the day my other two were born and sleep was a dream with both of them. Now, I have three good and easy sleepers. That isn't to say that we haven't had bumps in the road- we have- but we kept getting the right amount of sleep as a high priority in our home and worked through them all.

For the month of October, I will be focusing on Sleep related to Working Moms, Halloween, and the upcoming Time Change.

Sundays: Sleep Dilemma
Mondays: Sleep Product (product is used loosely- book, technique, etc.)
Wednesdays: Question for you (you comment back your answer- helps other readers get different perspectives)
Thursdays: Sleep Ponderings from Me
Saturday: Saturday Sleep Tip

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My kids need to go to bed earlier than they did during the summer? How do we adjust it?

A: First, know that your kids' bodies need the sleep and want the sleep. School is going to wear them out, and everything else that they have in their lives. At the end of the day you are going to have tired kids- even if their mouths protest the idea of bedtime. Second, you need to come up with a bedtime that considers the amount of sleep that they need. Children ages 5 to 12 need about 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night, so from the time they need to wake-up figure out what the appropriate bedtime needs to be. Third, consider explaining the change you are going to make if you think this is necessary. Fourth, make the change over a few days, focus on a consistent, short, and calming bedtime routine. You aren't going to rock your 10 year old, but you may want them to take a bath or shower, brush their teeth..., and then read a chapter in a book with them.

Their sleep is so important and often not given enough attention. Remember you are the parent, and it is your job to teach your child healthy sleep habits. Numerous sources link inadequate sleep to academic and behavioral problems. Our kids need their sleep.

For more sleep facts check out, http://www.sleepfoundation.org/site/c.huIXKjM0IxF/b.2419303/k.27B0/The_Sleep_Of_Americas_Children.htm

Sleep Product Review: The Ultimate Out and About Sleep Set-up

The best place for a baby to take a nap is in their bedroom, but let's face it there are times when we can't or don't want to stay at home so our sweet little babies can take all their naps in their peaceful bedrooms. Sometimes we want to go to breakfast or take our other children to the park. Or sometimes we just have to take the other kids to ballet or gymnastics or wherever. There are solutions to allowing your precious little baby get their nap and still be out. Here is one option a friend of mine came up with:

Description:
Inside of a stroller that has a bassinet type option or possibly inside of their carseat create a sleep environment as close to their one at home as possible:

The Stroller
She uses the Easy DuoWalker (http://www.easywalker.nl/usa/duowalker.html) with the CarryCot (GREAT set-up). I have used my Graco stroller- fully reclined with the feet part up so it turns into a bassinet (http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/product.aspx?modelNumber=7B11CAD3&CategoryID=12).

Noise Machine: Put some batteries in yours and take it along- put it right inside the bassinet. She uses the same wave sounds that she uses in her sons bedroom.

Sleep Positioner: Grab the sleep positioner from their crib (If they are out of this now- skip it).

Swaddle: Swaddle your baby just like you would at home (If they have outgrown the swaddle skip it too).

Darkness: Lay a breathable blanket to create the same dark environment at home over the top- block out that sun.

Binkie/Paci: She gives her little guy his favorite, loves the sucking and sleeps longer with it (just like she does at home).

The Goal: to create the same sleep environment you have created at home- to maximize the nap on-the-go.

Thank you DeNai for sharing. And good luck creating your sleep environment on-the-go. Please share any other sleep set-ups you have created for sleeping on-the-go.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Set an early and appropriate bedtime and STICK TO IT. Preschoolers need between 10.5 and 13 hours of sleep a night. Toddlers need between 12 and 14 hours of sleep per night. Figure out what time they wake up or what time they have to be up for preschool or whatever your morning needs are and decide on a bedtime accordingly. Fight against falling into their persuasions of staying up later. Good luck.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma: Preschoolers

Q: My preschooler comes home from school wired. He has no interest in taking a nap but needs to, what do I do?

A: Preschool can leave a child very excited about their day. If you can leave sometime between preschool pick-up and naptime that would be ideal. You may need to eat lunch (do that first). Then, depending on the amount of dirt and sweat he accumulated in his busy day a bath may be a good idea. Then, take some time to cool down and calm down: read a few books, have him tell you about his day, cuddle. Maybe just take 10-15 minutes but make it calming. And then explain that he needs to take a nap for a little bit so that you guys can have more fun in the afternoon. Also, make sure that the naptime isn't too late- you don't want him to become overtired, and you want to leave enough wake time before bedtime. Be calm, firm, and consistent in your naptime routine. Also, remember that sometime between age 3 and age 6 kids drop their naps... look for more on that later this week.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: How much sleep is enough sleep?

Does your baby, toddler, child get enough sleep? Do you know what signs to look for in your children that tell you if they have gotten enough sleep? They are probably fairly obvious- although we sometimes misinterpret them. They may even be similar to the signs we show when we are tired.
Possible signs that your child is NOT getting enough sleep: cranky, irritable, falls asleep in the car, you have to wake them up every morning, hyperactivity, falling asleep in class, acting out.
Possible signs that your child IS getting enough sleep: happy, alert, has organized sleep.
Important to sleep: consolidated sleep, soothes self back to sleep, regular sleeptimes.
Dr. Marc Weisbluth, in his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, reminds us that it is never too late to help healthy children sleep better.