Article Review: "Sleep Baby Sleep: Parents' Behavior has Direct Impact on Children's Slumber

I just read an article conducted by the Department of Psychology at the Universit de Montral and its affiliated hospital. This study "investigated how parenting can affect sleep in children."

So, you are wondering? Can I mess up my baby/child's sleep? This study indicates that "the way parents put their babies to bed has a direct impact on how well children sleep when they reach four to six years old." I have always known that the way you put your baby to sleep is extremely important and lasting, but here you can statistically see how much it impacts them.

"The researchers found that the manner 29-to41 month old toddlers were put to sleep influenced how they would slumber between the ages of 4 to 6. Parents behaviors that most affected childrens' sleep included:

• Giving children food or drink after they awoke, which provoked bad dreams, sleep of less than 10 hours or delays in falling back asleep.
• Co-sleeping with children when they awoke delayed their falling back asleep by 15 minutes."

The researchers also found:

• Mothers often think that infants cry only when hungry and so they may continue to respond with food or drink when 29-41 month old toddlers awake- which can cause bad dreams and shorter total sleep when children reach 4 to 6 years old.
  
• "Parents often opt for co-sleeping as a reaction, but co-sleeping is not the best option to prevent future sleep difficulties. Co-sleeping and other uncommon parental behaviors have negative consequences for future sleep."

I just heard a mother of six speak on Creating Independence in Your Children, she said to be careful that when you make a parenting decision you are making it as a choice on how you want to parent and not as a way to avoid a struggle. Keep this principle in mind as you decide how you want your infant, baby, child to go to sleep for naps and each night.

Question for You

Do you or did you put your newborn/infant to sleep awake or asleep?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What is up with evening fussiness? I feel like my baby gets good naps all day and then is tired but won't go to sleep in the evening?

A: This is a part of how the newborn stage goes for many babies. Continue with making sure they get naps after only being awake every 1-2 hours (Note: If you think they are tired after 30 minutes or 45 minutes by all means put them down- YOU WANT TO AVOID HAVING THE BABY GET OVERTIRED). And continue making sure they eat often enough (I have always done every 3 hours) and get a full feeding, so they are always well fed. Fussiness usually peaks around 6 weeks of age and then begins to decrease.

Ideas for dealing with the fussiness:

• Have them take a nap in a sling, swing, or such
  
• Use a paci (and the sling)
• Go on a walk or go out and run errands- sleep-on-the-go idea- if they aren't going to sleep at home go out
• Swaddle!
• Have an evening routine- bath, cuddles, feeding...
• Set a time for their last feeding (I always did 10pm) and then put them down for the night

*Marc Weisbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child states that night sleep begins to develop around six weeks of age because of the following (make sure you are allowing this to happen): darkness serves as a time cue, slowing down activities and becoming quieter at night, we behave as if we expect the baby to sleep.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Nighttime Sleep for Infants

Gosh, I appreciate sleep, and although I miss so much about the newborn stage, I don't miss sleep deprivation. Thank goodness it is short lived EVEN if it doesn't seem like it when you are in it.

Nighttime sleep is dictated by an infants hunger (for the most part).
What I did: I would breastfeed every three hours during the day. My last feeding would be at 10pm and then I would feed whenever the baby woke during the night (I would not wake them- please listen to a doctor if there is a reason to wake them). This is what I did- and it worked great! I know there are other ways to do this and do what works best- but just make sure everyone is getting as much sleep as possible.

Other tips to increase nighttime sleep:

• Start with a simple bedtime routine- bath and feeding... (don't forget to change the diaper before and put PJs on- there is a chance you may have to change the diaper again- have the necessary things ready and those sleeper gowns are great for quick diaper changes at night).
  
• Swaddle- get a good swaddling blanket and swaddle that sweet little thing as tight as it needs to be for them to not squirm out of it. Note: let your child dictate how long they need to be swaddled- don't move them out too soon. Swaddling helps them not wake themselves when those cute little newborn reflexes go off.
• Turn on a fan in the room- (SIDS prevention tip) and possible a sound spa to drown out other sounds.
  
• Feed your hungry baby- make sure you get them a full feeding to maximize your next stretch of sleep.
• Chill for a minute when you hear them making noise- babies and kids (and adults) make noise in their sleep- don't be overzealous to go get them- they may surprise you and go back to sleep.
  

And when will you be sleeping through the night? Hopefully soon! According to Marc Weissbluth, the author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, "many infants between six weeks and four months will naturally go to sleep late around 9:00 to 11:00 p.m., and sleep several hours without the need to be fed... After four months, infants tend to go to sleep earlier; around 6:00 to 8:00 p.m., and some now need to be fed once or twice before they wake up to start the day..." So, the answer is it will vary with your baby and what you are comfortable doing.

My first baby was sleeping through the night at five months (only after some specific sleep training to break her from the habit of waking every 2 hours to feed). My next two babies were sleeping through the night by eight to ten weeks.

One last thought, some days are funky; some nights are funky. Sometimes there is no clear explanation for why an infant has a bad night of sleep or whatever it may be that is 'off'. Begin again tomorrow

Sleep Product Review: Holiday Gift Idea

Christmas PJs. I love Christmas, and I love getting my kids some festive pjs (that end up being worn for the rest of the year). I have found some great quality pjs at Hanna Andersson over the years. They have some cute Christmassy pjs- made out of nice, organic cotton. Check out www.hannaandersson.com- they are actually on sale for a limited time.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: After jammies, teeth-brushing, a story and a hug, my 2.5 year old goes to bed pretty easily. But my kids recently spent two nights with my in-laws (over the holidays) who got the kids to sleep by sitting next to them and rubbing their backs. Now that we're back home, my 2.5 year old is asking for me to cuddle in bed with him and give him backrubs. How do I break this new habit he's picked up from staying with the grandparents?

A: That is cute and sweet in many ways. I actually have fond memories of having my back rubbed by my mom. If you don't want this to be part of your sleep routine then don't make it part of it. Tell him that this was part of what grandma did with you before bed, but at your house you do x,y, and z before bedtime. If you want it to be more visual for him, make a list with pictures of your bedtime routine and then he can see what happens every night at your house (brush teeth, PJs, story). If you like the idea then maybe rub his back as you sing a song or say a prayer with him before the lights go out.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My in-laws insist that the kids need to stay up and participate in our entire Christmas Eve celebration, this goes until after 11pm many years, then they are so tired the next morning to really enjoy our Christmas?

A: If comfortable I would have you or your husband discuss your needs with them. Come to some sort of compromise. Maybe start the celebrating/presents earlier and then have an adult dinner later when the kids go to bed. Or focus on the kids for the beginning of the celebration and then when coffee is served have the kids go to bed and continue with the adults. Bottom line is that you have to look out for what is best for your children. Do the best you can to let the grandparents enjoy the kids and this time with them, but also respect your child's sleep and your families needs. They may just have to get over it.

Saturday Sleep Tip

The excitement of Christmas and Santa coming down the chimney with care is enough to keep any child up. I suggest that you read a nice Christmas story and emphasize the idea that the sooner they go to sleep the sooner they will get to wake up and see what Santa brought. Remember, Santa can't come until the children are sleeping all snug in their beds.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Holidays

As the exciting holidays approach you have to make lots of choices when you have children. Do you vaguely remember those pre-children days where you went to every holiday event without a care in the world? Where you would stay out until whenever and know that sleep could be reclaimed the next morning?

Well, since those days are over choices have to be made.
We have to decide when to get a babysitter (if you can find one during the holiday season), when to take the kids, when to let the kids stay up later, when to skip a nap... The holiday season can leave you and your kids thoroughly exhausted. So, think about the choices you are going to have to make.

• Plan now for the babysitters you will need so you can go out.
  
• Plan out how you can get your kids enough sleep on the actual chaotic holiday(s). Getting your kids enough sleep can help you avoid meltdowns, tantrums, and whatever else bright colors, lights, sugar, and gifts stimulate in a child.
• If you know your kids are going to have to stay up late, try to offset that with a nap.
• Limit sugar as best you can... for all the obvious reasons.
• With all the excitement make sure you help them wind down before taking a nap or going to bed.
• If it is going to be the best idea for your child to go to bed at another location- bring whatever you need- pjs, pack n play, noise maker, blankie...
• Make age appropriate decisions: Celebrate the holiday, so that they participate in some of it, you and the grandparents can get pictures, and then they can go to sleep- they don't need to participate in the entire holiday when they are young
  
• Plan some mellow post-holiday days with some extra sleep and rest to recuperate from the crazy holiday(s)

You will all enjoy and get the most out of the holidays if you get enough sleep. Enjoy all the extras within reason. Find balance this holiday season between the fun, festivities, and sleep.

Sleep Ponderings: Time Change

As you face any difficulties related to the time change you may want to take some time to tune-up your child's sleep. Here are some reminders:

• Is your child's room dark? Darkness triggers sleep. You can pick up some roller black-out shades at Lowe's or Home Depot- ready to install. You can also order some nicer black-out cell shades from a number of on-line or local window covering vendors. I highly recommend something.
• Are you using some sort of noise maker? Those birds are chirping a bit earlier these days- a "sound spa" or fan can help drown out those early morning sounds. Just because the birds are up doesn't mean we should be up.
• Does your bedtime and wake-up routine have consistency? If it doesn't adjust. An easy, short routine is usually best.
• It is dark earlier now- take the opportunity to easily adjust bedtimes that need to be adjusted. Over and over I am confronted with overtired kids. A kid does not need to be falling asleep to be ready for bed.
  

Sleep Ponderings: "Trick or Treat, Give Me Something Good to Eat"

Halloween means candy, candy, and more candy. These little kids and big kids come home with way too much candy for any human being to eat before the candy has hit its expiration date. So, how does candy effect our children and their sleep?

First, what is candy made up of? Sugar, sugar, caffeine in chocolate, sometimes some nuts, sometimes some raisins or other filler. There is nothing good to say about candy except it does taste good.

Now, some things to think about as we watch our little ones consume this stuff. Caffeine, found in chocolate has been identified by the National Sleep Foundation as a sleep stealer. "Caffeine will stay in your body for hours. It takes about six hours for half of the caffeine to be eliminated from your body." So, consider the time caffeine is consumed. Maybe you want to limit the amount of chocolate candies your child eats- or skip chocolate candies.

Each child reacts differently to sugar consumption- it may or may not alter their behavior and to differing degrees. According to Patti Teel, "avoid late afternoon and evening caffeine and sugar consumption."

When your child does indulge in their Halloween treats or whatever treat is presented on a special occasion you may also want to think about slowing the effects of sugar by having your child eat a protein with it (a tip I just learned from a fellow mom of a diabetic child). Give them some nuts, or a cheesestick, or a piece of turkey before they eat that candy or other treat.

Good luck finding balance and sleep as you trick or treat.

Question for You

How much later will you let your kids stay up on Halloween?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I limit the amount of candy my child eats? I don't want them to eat too much they get sick or can't go to sleep.

A: One tricky way that may work is to let them eat their age in candy. Go trick-or-treating earlier so they eat their candy a bit before bedtime. Don't let them have chocolate- avoiding the caffeine. Have them eat some protein to slow down the sugar rush- cheesestick, turkey slice, nuts... Spread out the candy they eat- one at the first house, one in the middle, one at the end or however that may work. And try to stick as close as you can to your bedtime and bedtime routine- that may help from them getting overtired and help them to wind down after all the excitement.

Saturday Sleep Tip

You may want to think about when you are going to transition to "Standard Time". The time changes on November 2- falls back one hour.

Question for You

Which time change do you like better- fall or spring? Do you wish we could just get rid of it- easier on naps and bedtime...?

Sleep "Product" Review

Any wall calendar or calendar that your whole family can see may help working moms organize their lives better. A calendar your husband sees may help him see all that needs to get done and where people need to be when. It may also help your older children understand when things are going to happen: soccer practice, family movie night, dinner, bedtime, etc. Anything to share the responsibilities and help keep a routine in place is helpful when you have so much on your plate.

Sleep Dilemma

Q: Should I let my child watch scary movies in the spirit of Halloween?

A: Each child processes and reacts to the things they see and hear differently. But, let's review some general information on sleep stealers. According to the National Sleep Foundation, "What your child watches can affect her dreams. JoAnne Cantor's book, "Mommy, I’m Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, eloquently describes the negative effects that the vivid visual pictures on the television screen can have on children (and the same would certainly apply to computer game graphics). As an adult, you can process and put into context the disturbing images you seen on the nightly news or the latest crime drama, but your child may not be able to do the same and may incorporate those images into nightmares."

And TV watching may just have negative effects on sleep regardless of the content, "Children who watch a lot of television, watch television as part of their bedtime routine, and especially children who have a television in their room are more likely to have sleep problems. These include difficulty falling asleep, anxiety at bedtime, and night wakings. These children are also more likely to get less sleep than they need. Granted, this is only an association and does not prove cause and effect. That is, there might be a bit of a chicken-and-egg phenomenon going on here. It may be that children who have problems falling asleep to begin with might be more likely to watch TV to "help" them fall asleep. However, there are also a number of important reasons why trying to use the background noise and soft glow of a TV to fall asleep are a bad idea at best. (National Sleep Foundation)

Personally, I would skip the scary movies and opt for another Halloween activity like going to a pumpkin patch or something that you find age appropriate for your child.

Sleep "Product" Review

Magazines are full of articles related to sleep- some helpful, some not. I just read an article in Babble (on-line http://babble.com/Bedtime-An-expert-troubleshoots-your-sleep-training/). It summarized three of the most common bedtime mistakes according to Dr. Carol Ash (medical director of Sleep for Life).

1. Thinking 8 is enough- our kids need more than 8 hours of sleep. Our kids are not us and have different sleep needs.
2. Rocking or singing your kid to sleep- our kids need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and the sooner the better. You are a guide in the process not doing it for them.
3. Putting a basketball court in the bedroom- we need to create an environment conducive to sleep- try dark, white noise, cool, no TV or other media

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What do I include in a bedtime routine? I feel so frazzled at the end of the day- I need a plan.

A: Bath (unless you do this in the morning- maybe every other day depending on hygiene needs), PJs, teeth brushed, a good cuddle with a good book(s)- maybe you choose one and your child/children choose one (depending on what time allows for- more or less). Just enjoy being with your child and helping them wind down from the day. Make sure you leave enough time to go through the routine before they get tucked in and lights out.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Even when you work make your child's sleep (and yours a priority). Figure out how much sleep they need (see prior posts) and make sure they get it. This will make for a happier family and more productive. Set aside their bedtime routine as a special time to connect with them.