A: There are a number of options for attacking this problem... all of which you may have to try in an attempt to rectify the situation... and you will have to figure out what works for your child.
- Set an appropriate bedtime based on your child's age-appropriate sleep needs.
- Make sure that you have a calming, consistent, and concise bedtime routine- possibly a bath, a story (not a library but a couple and not TV in place of a story), and to bed- avoid long drawn out routines, lists of excuses, and whatever else your creative child may conjure up.
- Have children get a drink and go potty before you put them in bed- take care of those inevitable excuses before they use them.
- Take the sleep environment into consideration. Turn off the lights- a dark room triggers sleep. Other sleep environment pluses: cool temperature, quiet, white noise.
- Maybe your child needs something comforting to sleep with: stuffed animal, blanket.
- Development of nighttime fears is normal and common at this age- leave their door open a crack if that helps them feel better, but I would avoid leaving bedroom lights on or forming any other habits that you don't want to continue. Also, think about the things that they watch- we don't want to give them something for their fears to feed on.
BUT, what if they don't stay in bed?
- Create a list of sleep rules along these lines: stay in bed, lay still, stay quiet, go to sleep (suggested from Healthy Sleep Habits). Go over these with your child before they go to sleep. Maybe demonstrate what this looks like or coach them through each of these actions, "Show me how you close your eyes sweetie." etc.
- If they get out of bed, silently walk them back to their room/bed. Don't give them any positive or negative attention- anything to converse about or add to staying up later. Do this again and again if it happens.
- Create an award system. Possibly give them a sticker on a card each night that they stay in their bed and when they get five stickers they get ___. Whatever is motivating to them.
- Call me or another sleep consultant to help you and your child get the sleep you need.
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I've also found that it helps if my girls know that I will be coming back to check on them. I think part of their problem going to sleep is that they feel like when we leave and close the door they are cut off from us. It's hard for them to understand the fact that we come in while they are sleeping to make sure they are okay, recover them with their blankets, etc. because they are always asleep when it happens.
So, if one of my girls is upset because I can't stay in the room with her, I tell her that I have some "work" to do, but after I'm done I will come back and check on her. She is usually ok with this, and 90 percent of the time will be sleeping by the time I come back to check 15-20 minutes later.
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