HAPPY NEW YEAR

I hope you have a safe New Year's Eve and a Happy New Year!

2009 Sleep Goals:

• Create a sleep inducing sleep environment: dark room (seriously DARK!!- darkness triggers something in our brains to sleep), sound maker/white noise (drown out those distracting sounds)
• Create a consistent and simple bedtime routine: I like to stay simple and short- you don't want to give kids a chance to drag things out. Things you may want to add in: bath, PJs, brush teeth, a story or prayer or song, a hug and kiss, a drink of water before they ask, potty. Whatever you decide your routine to be stick with it, do it, and when you are done- turn off the lights, close the door, and be done. If they get out of bed- quietly return them to their room.
• Make sure the amount of sleep your child is receiving is appropriate for your child's age. In general newborns should nap after 1-2 hours of being awake and then sleep for a large amount of time with a feeding or two mixed in. Infants will then transition to a three or maybe straight to a two nap a day schedule through 12-18 months. They should get 14-15 hours of sleep. Toddlers will have an afternoon nap and should get about 12-14 hours of sleep per day. Preschoolers may or may not have an afternoon nap and will continue with 11-13 hours of sleep per day. School age children should get 10-11 hours per day.
• Cut out sleep inhibitors: sugar, caffeine, too much TV/video games/ computer, things that may give them nightmares/violence, too late of a bedtime causing overtiredness.

Here is to sleep for the new year!

Yours,

Courtney

Merry Christmas!

I hope you have a wonderful Christmas!

Yours,

Courtney 

Sleep Product Review: Holiday Gift Idea

I have been in search of a kid's Christmas CD with all the classics. I found The Coolest Kidz Bop Christmas Ever (2007). It has all the classics: Rudolph, Santa Claus is Coming To Town, and The Grinch. It also has a good sound. Another idea, is to go onto iTunes and make sure you get all the songs YOU want. Anyone else have a fav?

Ponderings from Me: Tis the Season

Tis the Season for fun, silliness, family time, baking cookies, singing songs, decorating, and more. It is also the season for busyness!

My family and my husband's family all live in the same city- the city we live in... And between the two of us we have three sets of grandparents still celebrating with us. So, our December is full of family gatherings, friend gatherings, and trying to balance that with all the stuff we find important to do with our kids and as an individual family. We usually celebrate Christmas seven times between Christmas Eve and Christmas. This year two of those celebrations have been spread out a bit. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful to have family close...

In the midst of fun, and really enjoying family, it can still be quite challenging at times to find balance. And to be honest I don't think we have. Sometimes I feel like December ends leaving me tired and like we didn't actually celebrate together. I think sometimes we need to be selfish and say no and just take some time as an individual family. We are going to be working on this in the next year or so. I don't want to run my kids so ragged that they don't get to even play with their Christmas presents or focus on the true meaning of Christmas.

I will enjoy this month and look for moments to slow down and enjoy the moments with my husband and three kids. 

Question for You

Is there a special holiday tradition you share with your children or family?

Sleep Product Review: Holiday Gift Idea

Christmas PJs. I love Christmas, and I love getting my kids some festive pjs (that end up being worn for the rest of the year). I have found some great quality pjs at Hanna Andersson over the years. They have some cute Christmassy pjs- made out of nice, organic cotton. Check out www.hannaandersson.com- they are actually on sale for a limited time.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: After jammies, teeth-brushing, a story and a hug, my 2.5 year old goes to bed pretty easily. But my kids recently spent two nights with my in-laws (over the holidays) who got the kids to sleep by sitting next to them and rubbing their backs. Now that we're back home, my 2.5 year old is asking for me to cuddle in bed with him and give him backrubs. How do I break this new habit he's picked up from staying with the grandparents?

A: That is cute and sweet in many ways. I actually have fond memories of having my back rubbed by my mom. If you don't want this to be part of your sleep routine then don't make it part of it. Tell him that this was part of what grandma did with you before bed, but at your house you do x,y, and z before bedtime. If you want it to be more visual for him, make a list with pictures of your bedtime routine and then he can see what happens every night at your house (brush teeth, PJs, story). If you like the idea then maybe rub his back as you sing a song or say a prayer with him before the lights go out.

Saturday Sleep Tip: SIDS Update

According to research published by Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, experts believe "that a baby can die in her sleep if she breathes exhaled carbon dioxide instead of oxygen, and this study shows that simply increasing air circulation is protective." 

So, what does this mean?

"A ceiling fan, a desk fan, forced-air heating, or even an open window can help."

A reminder of other SIDS prevention tips according to Parents magazine:

• put your baby to sleep on her back
• avoid soft bedding
• never smoke in her room
• don't share a bed with your baby

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Swaddling

Swaddling... The nurses wrap up your baby moments after you give birth back into a tight little bundle. They have just spent months held tightly in a warm environment, and I can only imagine birth and their new world are shocking.  Swaddling is a way to bring them back to the womb. 

Babies usually remain swaddled for much of their hospital visit. But, what happens when you take your sweet baby home? Some people continue to swaddle and some people do not. I encourage you to swaddle as long as your baby sleeps best when swaddled. Note: trying to struggle out of a swaddle does not mean they don't "want" to be swaddled. Swaddling keeps all their jumpy little newborn reflexes contained so that they can get good sleep (WHICH translates to you getting a goodnight's sleep). 

So, find a good swaddling blanket (this may change as your baby grows) and swaddle until they outgrow this (usually won't stay in the swaddle for any length of time or you notice that their jumpy newborn reflexes have calmed down). Also, before you leave the hospital ask a nurse to show you how to swaddle- and notice that they do not swaddle loosely- you are recreating the womb- do you remember how tight they fit into your belly?

I swaddled my first baby until she was 5 months old or so. I swaddled my son until he was only 2 months old, and I swaddled my third baby until she was 4 months old. I know of other people who swaddled past 6 months.  Like anything you will know what is best and what works for you, but don't give up the swaddle too early, it may increase night sleep.

Question for You

What is your favorite blanket or swaddling blanket?

Sleep Product Review: Holiday Gift Idea

A great gift set for someone with a baby are the Petunia Swaddling Blankets. They come in a set of three unique, adorable, and hip prints. They have sets for a girl, a boy, or gender neutral. Not only are these blankets made out of a very soft organic cotton, they are great for swaddling. They are a large 40x40 square that gives you plenty of fabric to properly swaddle that little cutie. And they come ready to gift away!

Check out their link: www.petuniapicklebottom.com/collections/accessoriesandgear

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My two kids share a room. One of them has a loud, hacking cough that wakes up the other one. What should I do to prevent my non-sick child from waking up?

A: Put the non-sick child to sleep in another room if one is available. Or make a special bed in your room for them to sleep on,  you can probably tune out their coughing or go back to sleep if it wakes you up.

Saturday Sleep Tip

When kids are sick make sure they get enough sleep and rest, so they recover quickly. 

Some tips I just read in Parents magazine to try to limit sickness spreading: 

WASH YOUR HANDS!! again and again; make the kitchen off limits for the sick child/children; switch to hot water on laundry day; "cut down on cuddles", don't let your kids share with each other (things that will spread sickness); clean bathrooms, faucets, handles, doorknobs (may want to try using vinegar and water as a non-toxic cleaner- my tip); clean kids toys when sickness has ended (The suggested "Dr. Tierno's  bug-fighting routine: clean toys with peroxide or white vinegar, wash them with soap and hot water, then rinse in peroxide or vinegar."

They also highlighted "3 Germ Hot Spots": Grocer cart handles, playground equipment, your kitchen sink

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Sickness and Sleep

So, it is December 4th, and we have already been through a few colds. So, how should we deal with the looming sickness and helping everyone in the house get the most sleep.

Here are a few things I have done in the past:

• My oldest got a cold which turned into a lingering cough... she would cough throughout the night for long stretches and wake up her baby sister who shares a room with her. After a couple days of this happening, I made a little bed on the floor in our room and my oldest slept in there. This was a good solution- we all slept through the night. I moved her back to her room as the coughing seemed to get less. Even though, my almost five year old daughter didn't take naps- she took a nap each day that week.
  
• When my son was 21 months old he got croup which within a day turned into pneumonia... to make a long story and a long night short- he ended up in the hospital for a couple days because of his difficulty breathing. He slept a lot in the hospital. When we got home he would play for a couple minutes and then need to lay down or go to sleep. Even though he was on a one nap a day schedule, I would just put him down whenever he started to fall asleep or seemed to need a nap. 

From both of these situations, you learn that sleep needs to be adjusted to maximize sleep for your home and for the sick child. Sleep is very important when your children are sick. Adjust nap schedules to fit your child's needs until they are better. 

Question for You

How and where do your kids sleep when they are sick? Any tips on getting them to sleep better?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My in-laws insist that the kids need to stay up and participate in our entire Christmas Eve celebration, this goes until after 11pm many years, then they are so tired the next morning to really enjoy our Christmas?

A: If comfortable I would have you or your husband discuss your needs with them. Come to some sort of compromise. Maybe start the celebrating/presents earlier and then have an adult dinner later when the kids go to bed. Or focus on the kids for the beginning of the celebration and then when coffee is served have the kids go to bed and continue with the adults. Bottom line is that you have to look out for what is best for your children. Do the best you can to let the grandparents enjoy the kids and this time with them, but also respect your child's sleep and your families needs. They may just have to get over it.

Saturday Sleep Tip

The excitement of Christmas and Santa coming down the chimney with care is enough to keep any child up. I suggest that you read a nice Christmas story and emphasize the idea that the sooner they go to sleep the sooner they will get to wake up and see what Santa brought. Remember, Santa can't come until the children are sleeping all snug in their beds.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: Holidays

As the exciting holidays approach you have to make lots of choices when you have children. Do you vaguely remember those pre-children days where you went to every holiday event without a care in the world? Where you would stay out until whenever and know that sleep could be reclaimed the next morning?

Well, since those days are over choices have to be made.
We have to decide when to get a babysitter (if you can find one during the holiday season), when to take the kids, when to let the kids stay up later, when to skip a nap... The holiday season can leave you and your kids thoroughly exhausted. So, think about the choices you are going to have to make.

• Plan now for the babysitters you will need so you can go out.
  
• Plan out how you can get your kids enough sleep on the actual chaotic holiday(s). Getting your kids enough sleep can help you avoid meltdowns, tantrums, and whatever else bright colors, lights, sugar, and gifts stimulate in a child.
• If you know your kids are going to have to stay up late, try to offset that with a nap.
• Limit sugar as best you can... for all the obvious reasons.
• With all the excitement make sure you help them wind down before taking a nap or going to bed.
• If it is going to be the best idea for your child to go to bed at another location- bring whatever you need- pjs, pack n play, noise maker, blankie...
• Make age appropriate decisions: Celebrate the holiday, so that they participate in some of it, you and the grandparents can get pictures, and then they can go to sleep- they don't need to participate in the entire holiday when they are young
  
• Plan some mellow post-holiday days with some extra sleep and rest to recuperate from the crazy holiday(s)

You will all enjoy and get the most out of the holidays if you get enough sleep. Enjoy all the extras within reason. Find balance this holiday season between the fun, festivities, and sleep.

Question for You

How do the holidays effect your child's sleep?

Question for You

What does your non-napping child do during their quiet time/rest time?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My non-napping four-year old son will not stay in his room during his daily quiet time? How do I get him to do this?

A: First you need to make sure you are being clear in what he needs to do. Maybe use a timer for the time or be clear in the cause and effect of the situation or set-up a few easy to remember quiet time rules. You may need to try out a few things and see what works:

• silently take him back to his room over and over again for a few days until he gets it.
• punish him with a consequence for disobeying
• use a sticker chart everytime he stays in his room and follows your quiet time rules/expectations or some other motivational tool
• try having his quiet time in another room- maybe his room is too stimulating
  

Saturday Sleep Tip

Some good rest time activities are workbooks, puzzles, magnadoodles, books- maybe a different basket for rest time books, a sorting or matching activity. I suggest something quiet they can do while lying on their bed- if this works for your situation.

Sleep Ponderings from Me

What do you do with the loss of naptime? It is a sad day when naptime ends all together! This is a SAHM's time to get everything done- you have a couple hours to clean, prep dinner, do the laundry, maybe take a nap or sometime for yourself on a good day.... and now it is gone.

I encourage you to continue expecting some sort of quiet time or rest time from your child. Set a timer, so you both know how long this period will be. Have them lay down and rest, or read a basket of books, or choose an activity out of a basket reserved for this time, or play quietly in their room during this time. You still need to get stuff done, and they need to have some more chill and relaxing time during their busy day. Again, like everything in parenting be consistent and set up this expectation clearly for your child.

Question for You

At what age did your child stop taking a nap?

Sleep Product Review: "Nap26"

I recently tried a sleep product for adults. It is called "Nap26" by POWR NAPS sleep system. It claims to make you feel like you slept for 3 hours after 26 minutes; energized and refreshed without drowsiness; and more.

I have done this 26 minute nap most weekdays over the past couple weeks. And it really does work. I don't know if I feel like I took a 3 hour nap but maybe. I definitely feel refreshed and not drowsy.

You have to put this on something where you can wear ear buds or headphones. I fall asleep in the first few minutes each time and then wake up a couple minutes before the 26 minutes ends. It works the same time every time I do it.

I highly recommend it for anyone who needs a pick-me up during the day, but has limited time.

Their website is www.nap26.com

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I get my child to wake up later? There wake up time is messed up from the time change.

A: If you want them to get up at 7 every morning don't go and get them until 7. It may take a little bit to adjust them to the new time. Remember, every time you go and get them at the earlier time that is extending the process and helping them form a habit. It is always sad to listen to them cry... but we always need to stay focused on the fact that they need the sleep, and we need the sleep.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Even if there is fussing, complaining, back-pedaling be consistent in your child's sleep and make sure they get enough sleep. Consistency will help quiet the complaints.

Sleep Ponderings: Time Change

As you face any difficulties related to the time change you may want to take some time to tune-up your child's sleep. Here are some reminders:

• Is your child's room dark? Darkness triggers sleep. You can pick up some roller black-out shades at Lowe's or Home Depot- ready to install. You can also order some nicer black-out cell shades from a number of on-line or local window covering vendors. I highly recommend something.
• Are you using some sort of noise maker? Those birds are chirping a bit earlier these days- a "sound spa" or fan can help drown out those early morning sounds. Just because the birds are up doesn't mean we should be up.
• Does your bedtime and wake-up routine have consistency? If it doesn't adjust. An easy, short routine is usually best.
• It is dark earlier now- take the opportunity to easily adjust bedtimes that need to be adjusted. Over and over I am confronted with overtired kids. A kid does not need to be falling asleep to be ready for bed.
  

Question for You

How is the time change going for you?

Sleep Ponderings: "Trick or Treat, Give Me Something Good to Eat"

Halloween means candy, candy, and more candy. These little kids and big kids come home with way too much candy for any human being to eat before the candy has hit its expiration date. So, how does candy effect our children and their sleep?

First, what is candy made up of? Sugar, sugar, caffeine in chocolate, sometimes some nuts, sometimes some raisins or other filler. There is nothing good to say about candy except it does taste good.

Now, some things to think about as we watch our little ones consume this stuff. Caffeine, found in chocolate has been identified by the National Sleep Foundation as a sleep stealer. "Caffeine will stay in your body for hours. It takes about six hours for half of the caffeine to be eliminated from your body." So, consider the time caffeine is consumed. Maybe you want to limit the amount of chocolate candies your child eats- or skip chocolate candies.

Each child reacts differently to sugar consumption- it may or may not alter their behavior and to differing degrees. According to Patti Teel, "avoid late afternoon and evening caffeine and sugar consumption."

When your child does indulge in their Halloween treats or whatever treat is presented on a special occasion you may also want to think about slowing the effects of sugar by having your child eat a protein with it (a tip I just learned from a fellow mom of a diabetic child). Give them some nuts, or a cheesestick, or a piece of turkey before they eat that candy or other treat.

Good luck finding balance and sleep as you trick or treat.

Question for You

How much later will you let your kids stay up on Halloween?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I limit the amount of candy my child eats? I don't want them to eat too much they get sick or can't go to sleep.

A: One tricky way that may work is to let them eat their age in candy. Go trick-or-treating earlier so they eat their candy a bit before bedtime. Don't let them have chocolate- avoiding the caffeine. Have them eat some protein to slow down the sugar rush- cheesestick, turkey slice, nuts... Spread out the candy they eat- one at the first house, one in the middle, one at the end or however that may work. And try to stick as close as you can to your bedtime and bedtime routine- that may help from them getting overtired and help them to wind down after all the excitement.

Saturday Sleep Tip

You may want to think about when you are going to transition to "Standard Time". The time changes on November 2- falls back one hour.

Question for You

Which time change do you like better- fall or spring? Do you wish we could just get rid of it- easier on naps and bedtime...?

Sleep "Product" Review

Any wall calendar or calendar that your whole family can see may help working moms organize their lives better. A calendar your husband sees may help him see all that needs to get done and where people need to be when. It may also help your older children understand when things are going to happen: soccer practice, family movie night, dinner, bedtime, etc. Anything to share the responsibilities and help keep a routine in place is helpful when you have so much on your plate.

Sleep Dilemma

Q: Should I let my child watch scary movies in the spirit of Halloween?

A: Each child processes and reacts to the things they see and hear differently. But, let's review some general information on sleep stealers. According to the National Sleep Foundation, "What your child watches can affect her dreams. JoAnne Cantor's book, "Mommy, I’m Scared": How TV and Movies Frighten Children and What We Can Do to Protect Them, eloquently describes the negative effects that the vivid visual pictures on the television screen can have on children (and the same would certainly apply to computer game graphics). As an adult, you can process and put into context the disturbing images you seen on the nightly news or the latest crime drama, but your child may not be able to do the same and may incorporate those images into nightmares."

And TV watching may just have negative effects on sleep regardless of the content, "Children who watch a lot of television, watch television as part of their bedtime routine, and especially children who have a television in their room are more likely to have sleep problems. These include difficulty falling asleep, anxiety at bedtime, and night wakings. These children are also more likely to get less sleep than they need. Granted, this is only an association and does not prove cause and effect. That is, there might be a bit of a chicken-and-egg phenomenon going on here. It may be that children who have problems falling asleep to begin with might be more likely to watch TV to "help" them fall asleep. However, there are also a number of important reasons why trying to use the background noise and soft glow of a TV to fall asleep are a bad idea at best. (National Sleep Foundation)

Personally, I would skip the scary movies and opt for another Halloween activity like going to a pumpkin patch or something that you find age appropriate for your child.

Sleep Ponderings from Working Moms

Ruth (mother of 2 and 4 year old girls) "Communication with the sitter! Make sure you give her all the info she needs on how your kids best fall asleep, how important it is for them to go down at certain times, and what steps you want her to take (including crying it out if you do this). Make sure she is comfortable with this and that she'll actually follow through. And make sure that she keeps a log of nap times so you will understand later if your kids are overtired at 6 pm because they missed a nap or wide awake because their nap got delayed and they woke up right before you got home, etc."

DeNai (mother of 7 month and 2 year old boys) "Consistancy is my only advice; whether its a date night with a babysitter or like myself we have the luxury of grandparents to watch our children. Naps and bedtime are like clock-work otherwise everyone suffers. Communication is the key to getting everybody on the same page."

Jenny (mother of 1 year old daughter and 3 year old son) "Keep them on the same schedule every day, on the days you are home with them and the days another person is watching them. Make sure you find a caregiver who agrees with or at least understands your specific desires for your child's sleep patterns."

Question for You

Working Moms: How do you get your kids enough sleep when they go to daycare?

Sleep "Product" Review

Magazines are full of articles related to sleep- some helpful, some not. I just read an article in Babble (on-line http://babble.com/Bedtime-An-expert-troubleshoots-your-sleep-training/). It summarized three of the most common bedtime mistakes according to Dr. Carol Ash (medical director of Sleep for Life).

1. Thinking 8 is enough- our kids need more than 8 hours of sleep. Our kids are not us and have different sleep needs.
2. Rocking or singing your kid to sleep- our kids need to learn to soothe themselves to sleep and the sooner the better. You are a guide in the process not doing it for them.
3. Putting a basketball court in the bedroom- we need to create an environment conducive to sleep- try dark, white noise, cool, no TV or other media

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: What do I include in a bedtime routine? I feel so frazzled at the end of the day- I need a plan.

A: Bath (unless you do this in the morning- maybe every other day depending on hygiene needs), PJs, teeth brushed, a good cuddle with a good book(s)- maybe you choose one and your child/children choose one (depending on what time allows for- more or less). Just enjoy being with your child and helping them wind down from the day. Make sure you leave enough time to go through the routine before they get tucked in and lights out.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Working Moms spend lots of good, quality time with your kids- it is Saturday- go out during non-sleep times and enjoy your children. Say no to as much as you can. Your kids are only young once.

Sleep Ponderings from Moms Who Work From Home

Katie: writer, mother of two boys (2 and 9 months) "Being a WAHM (work at home mom) means that when both kids finally go down for their afternoon nap, the "office" opens, and I know that I need to take full advantage of the 1 1/2 - 2 hrs. of work time I have. With two kids under 3, quiet time to work is a rarity, so I know I need to be as efficient and effective as possible when I have those moments. This means, I usually ignore the lunch dishes, bypass the basket of laundry that needs folding and focus on just getting work for the business done. In the past, when I've tried too hard to multi-task with house and work to-do's during that time, I've found that nothing really gets done, so I try to keep nap time set aside for the business. Sometimes, I'd like to just take that time to lay on the couch with a magazine, but I remind myself that it is a blessing to be a mom and a blessing to be able to do work that I love from home. Being productive and focused during my time for work means that I can be more present and fully engaged when my kids aren't napping. And those dishes and laundry....well, they'll get done eventually."

Mindy: Arbonne rep, mother of two (1 and 3) " I cram as much work as I can do into their nap times! I find I am much more regimented with nap time since I have been doing my Arbonne business. I used to be pretty scattered on times and that only made them cranky and irritable, and I was miserable! Since, I have been more structured with our time (because I need to be with my business) I find that my kids expect it and look forward to having routine sleep. My 17 mo. old is happy to go down with no problems, since I chose not to be so sporadic! With working from home, you have to be so much more efficient with your family’s time. Without a routine sleeping schedule, life would not be pretty for your family or your business!"

Kelsey: Designer/Business Owner, mother of a 4 year old son "Working a set period of time vs. working around nap schedules is a hard decision to make because for a lot of women, it means daycare, which for me, it did. And, for me, it meant daycare with a kid that already wasn't sleeping and an overtired mama. I was also breastfeeding and Beck refused to take a bottle from anyone. He was 7-8 months at the time. But, once we did discover what allowed Beck to sleep (unfortunately at 11 months), things were better. For us, routine was critical. Everything the same, every day, no deviations. Luckily, Beck was in a great home daycare that centered around routine, and eventually he got it, as long as I kept up with the routine when we got home things went pretty good. It was, and still is, a balancing act that is constantly changing, but the majority of it is the same. Sometimes it requires rules to be broken...especially if you have one with a sickness. And, sometimes it requires a bigger bed or compromises to be made at 3 am so that all can get sleep. Luckily, I have a flexible schedule, where if Beck was to get sick, I could take off during the day and have my husband cover during the night. But, the work is still there and needs to get done, so a lot of times, I work at nights or I wake up extra early to catch an hour to get e-mails returned...things that I can do easily from home or from bed with a sick kid near. I put a priority on 8 hours of sleep for myself, and work within that. Sometimes, I cheat myself if I've taken on too much, but that's life. As long as I keep the routine similar for Beck, who's now 4, things work pretty smoothly. Sometimes you just have to be flexible...on vacation last week, he slept on a pillow on the floor of a restaurant so that we could stay out. And, when we got home, he had an ear infection. I ended up rubbing his back to sleep while I checked work e-mail from my phone. It gave him the time he needed to fall asleep with a little extra love and me the time to catch up on work stuff before I got into work. And, I try and tackle things on a personal level at home and in spare time and try not to get down on myself when things just can't get done. And, if they can't, I start asking for help, even if it means paying the cleaning lady to come an extra time, so that we can get a little more personal time. I once heard someone say, in the end, you're not going to be remembered by how perfect your towels were folded in the linen closet. So, I try and concentrate on the majors at work and life, and then go from there. And, then see how much of the minor stuff I can fit in. Sometimes I even get to the perfectly folded towels...not that often, but it's been known to happen!"

Question for You

Do you work? From home or other? How do you balance your children's sleep needs with work?

Sleep "Product" Review: Calendar

As a working mom you need to be very deliberate and organized in the things you need to accomplish during the day. Take into consideration: time to spend with kids, time you and the kids need to sleep (don't schedule things during this time), housecleaning (try a house cleaner if it fits into your budget- they are really quite reasonable), exercise, any extra activities you have. Also, take the liberty to say no when your life is overbooked and you are not finding enough time to connect with your kids.

I have found a great planner "momagenda". It has plenty of space for planning, extra/individual spaces for your kids and/or husband, and extra planning spaces (parties, presents...), and a separate address book (with the portfolio planner). http://www.momagenda.com/products.cfm?cID=17&pID=24. Happy shopping!

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: Some nights I get home from work after my kids bedtime? How do I find time with them and meet my work needs?

A: Each situation is different. I encourage you to set your child's sleep as a high priority at your home. It will make everyone happier to be well-slept. It is also important for school performance, behavior, good daytime sleep, brain development, and more.

Now, finding time for you and your child on the days you don't make it home. Ideas: spend some special time in the morning if that works out, go home for your lunch break if possible, try using Skype to talk and see each other over the computer or just use a phone, leave them sweet notes or pictures in their lunchbox/with their dinner/with their toothbrush... , ask them to write or dictate a note to you telling about their day, lay out their pjs and a special story or right them a little bedtime story to have read to them, tell them that you will come in and cuddle with them when you get home (and do it- you will both appreciate the physical touch- even if they are asleep- don't wake them), set aside a large chunk of time when you can to really connect with them.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Even when you work make your child's sleep (and yours a priority). Figure out how much sleep they need (see prior posts) and make sure they get it. This will make for a happier family and more productive. Set aside their bedtime routine as a special time to connect with them.

Ponderings from Who?

Who am I again?
My name is Courtney Graham. I am a mother of three wonderful kids (Mackenzie 4 1/2, Mason 2 1/2, Marin 6 months). I have a background in teaching- six years teaching elementary school, a Master's in Education.
Sleep became an interest of mine when my first child was not born sleeping whenever she needed to- I had an overtired, crying baby, few parent friends, and I was tired. So, I started reading like crazy. I read anything and everything. And tried anything and everything. A lot worked or helped, some didn't. But I learned a lot about sleep, infant and child sleep needs, etc. I'm very thankful to have gone through that experience- just thinking about it makes me tired :).
I finally figured out what worked when Mackenzie was five months old- after that she was an amazing sleeper for naps and nighttime sleep. I did things much differently from the day my other two were born and sleep was a dream with both of them. Now, I have three good and easy sleepers. That isn't to say that we haven't had bumps in the road- we have- but we kept getting the right amount of sleep as a high priority in our home and worked through them all.

For the month of October, I will be focusing on Sleep related to Working Moms, Halloween, and the upcoming Time Change.

Sundays: Sleep Dilemma
Mondays: Sleep Product (product is used loosely- book, technique, etc.)
Wednesdays: Question for you (you comment back your answer- helps other readers get different perspectives)
Thursdays: Sleep Ponderings from Me
Saturday: Saturday Sleep Tip

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: Are bedtimes with my 9 year old still important? Don't they know when they are ready to go to sleep?

A: I taught fifth grade for many years. During my time teaching, numerous parents had decided that by fifth grade their child was ready to be responsible for himself. And time and time again they weren't. Our kids need us to guide them and make the decisions for them that they are not mature enough to make. This includes when to go to bed.

Please take the time to explain why they need 10-11 hours of sleep enough. Make it a math problem and have them figure out when there bedtime is, but enforce it. It is important.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Designate a homework time that is not right before bedtime- be consistent in this time. Leave kids with some wind down time before you tuck them in at an appropriate bedtime (so that they receive 10-11 hours of sleep).

Please feel free to share your ideal homework time.

Sleep Ponderings from Me

Stalling... does anyone else have a child working towards an Emmy in bedtime stalling? "I'm hungry." "I'm thirsty." "I need to go to the bathroom." Again? "Um, mom I need to tell you, um, something...{pause}...." "Oh, we forgot to..."

My kids are usually pretty good, but they do go through weeks where they work really hard at delaying bedtime, testing and retesting what they can get away with- does that battle ever end? Just when you think things are easy- they have to check again what rules apply. The need to be consistent is SO great.

I try to take care of any and all of the inevitable pleas before they become pleas. We brush teeth, go potty, have a drink before we do the final tuck in. And when all the kids are down- ahhhh, quiet, sweet freedom for a few short hours. And then, there are the nights where just when you are sighing one of the kids opens the door, "Mom...." Darn it! Back on duty... take care of the need, and hopefully you are off the clock. But, I love it. I love my babies and taking care of their needs.

Question for You

How do you balance school, extra activities, homework, and bedtimes?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My child who still needs a nap and takes a long nap- usually until 4:30pm or so- has a very difficult time going to sleep at night so that he gets his RDA of sleep, what can I do about this?

A: You know best if your child is ready to give up the afternoon nap (usually happens between 3 and 5, maybe 6). So, if he is not I suggest moving his nap to an earlier time. My son had this same issue when he was 27 months. I moved his nap from 1:30 to 12:30 and he still took a 2- 3 hour nap, but he was able to go to bed easily at 7pm instead of talking and singing in there for hours. If you just set the new precedent that after lunch we read a book and go straight to naptime (or skip the book) it may make the timing more understandable to your child.

Saturday Sleep Tip

A house rule: NO Night Owls Allowed

Note: Kids age 5-12 need 10-11 hours of sleep a night.

In the spirit of blogging...

Just found a great blog with help to bloggers... http://www.themarthablog.com/2008/09/how-to-create-your-own-blog-let-us-show-you.html#comment-20070. check it out.

Sleep Ponderings from Me

My oldest child is only 4 1/2; she goes to school 2 days a week; goes to ballet once a week; some months has swimming lessons 2 days a week; I work out one day a week (where I bring them). We don't have that much going on, but as the three get older my days are going to be full of dropping off, picking up, dropping off, picking up, waiting- school, ballet, soccer. Then, coming home: homework, dinner, baths, reading, and who knows what else. And of course I will still have their goal of 10-11 hours of sleep a night... so an 8pm bedtime. Talk about need to be efficient. I can't even imagine taking care of all the things that would need to get taken care of if I was working full time. You can see how bedtimes easily creep to a later and later time for some families- they just do not have enough time to get everything done. So, I challenge myself and you to make your child's bedtime (amount of sleep) a #1 priority, and adjust the rest of your life accordingly. Maybe your child doesn't play every sport or isn't involved in every extracurricular activity. Maybe you pay the extra $10 to do vons.com (honestly not a plug for them), so that you can keep errands at bay. Choices will have to be made so that everyone can have the chance to give their best by being well-rested.

Question for You

What has been your biggest sleep challenge as your children have entered grade school?

Sleep "Product" Review

Check out Rockabye Baby! Lullaby Renditions by Coldplay. This is a lullaby CD you will enjoy... it takes Coldplay songs and makes them lullabyey (made-up word). There are other artists that have similar CDs: Bob Marley, Radiohead, The Cure, Pink Floyd...

When would you use a lullaby CD? Play some nice, calming music during bathtime, while you read stories, just in the room as you go through your bedtime routine. May also increase your child's music appreciation.

http://www.amazon.com/Rockabye-Baby-Lullaby-Renditions-Coldplay/dp/B000GY72J2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=music&qid=1220742130&sr=8-1

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My kids need to go to bed earlier than they did during the summer? How do we adjust it?

A: First, know that your kids' bodies need the sleep and want the sleep. School is going to wear them out, and everything else that they have in their lives. At the end of the day you are going to have tired kids- even if their mouths protest the idea of bedtime. Second, you need to come up with a bedtime that considers the amount of sleep that they need. Children ages 5 to 12 need about 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night, so from the time they need to wake-up figure out what the appropriate bedtime needs to be. Third, consider explaining the change you are going to make if you think this is necessary. Fourth, make the change over a few days, focus on a consistent, short, and calming bedtime routine. You aren't going to rock your 10 year old, but you may want them to take a bath or shower, brush their teeth..., and then read a chapter in a book with them.

Their sleep is so important and often not given enough attention. Remember you are the parent, and it is your job to teach your child healthy sleep habits. Numerous sources link inadequate sleep to academic and behavioral problems. Our kids need their sleep.

For more sleep facts check out, http://www.sleepfoundation.org/site/c.huIXKjM0IxF/b.2419303/k.27B0/The_Sleep_Of_Americas_Children.htm

Saturday Sleep Tip

According to an article from BabyCenter, you may want to try a "sleep instigating snack an hour before bedtime. Some foods naturally spark a release of serotonin, the body's built-in sleep inducer. Try a glass of milk, a piece of whole-wheat toast with a slice of cheese, half a peanut butter sandwich, or oatmeal with bananas."

This tip of course would have to fit with your schedule, and skip if your kids have no problems falling asleep.

In contrast, you want to avoid sugary and caffeine filled foods before bed.

Even the food they do or do not eat can and should be part of the right bedtime routine.

Sleep Ponderings from Me

I just returned home from a 12 day vacation with the family. Husband, wife, three kids drive 2000 miles in 12 days touching five states. It was quite the trip. And I would have to say that my kids (ages 4 1/2, 2 1/2, and 5 months) were absolutely amazing!

So, how did they sleep you wonder? They missed a couple naps when we were driving- just depended on what we did that day and where we had to stop, but overall their sleep stayed on schedule. My 5 month old took great naps on the road, and she would take 3 hour naps on the beach (in her pack'n'play, covered with a blanket, with her noise maker). She woke up at night some of the nights- but 4 of us were staying in the same room. It is vacation; you can't expect perfection.

My other two kids went to bed a bit later a couple of the nights- had to be flexible for the extra fun things you do on vacation, but they went to bed easily, took good naps and were amazing.
Thanks to them getting to sleep well on the trip they were able to keep great attitudes.

Question for You

What is your child's age and bedtime? Is this consistent?

Sleep "Product" Review

Let's note that my sleep "product's" are not necessarily something that you can buy at the store to make sleep occur. They are either some sort of contraption, sleep aid, or something loosely related to sleep.

My kids enjoy the book Owen by Kevin Henkes. It is a cute story about a mouse who is attached to his fuzzy yellow blanket, Fuzzy. This blanket goes with him everywhere. The goal of the parents in the story is to get Owen to not bring his blanket to school. It is a nice story about a blanket, parents, and transitioning to school.

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Savvy Business Moms Community Forum
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Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How can my youngest get their full nap when I have a 2:30 pm pick-up for my oldest?

A: Well, in the ideal world we would all have a babysitter or a nanny that could stay with the youngest, or maybe a chauffeur to pick up the oldest... but most of us are lacking those resources. I would suggest moving their nap up so that they can get a "full" nap in time for you to pick up your oldest. Then, you may need to move their bedtime a slight bit earlier depending on their melt-down factor. You probably want to take a few days to gradually make this transition if possible. If you don't have a few days, work to really wear them out before the new naptime and go through a nice calming routine before putting them down. This "new" plan will also continue to allow for you to have some "quieter" time during the day.

Saturday Sleep Tip

Gradeschoolers can be reasoned with (to some degree), use this when dealing with sleep issues. Explain to them there body needs sleep to be the best.... to be the best at school, sports, whatever else they use their energy for.

Courtney's Sleep Tips on Momtrends

Friends,
Check out Nicole Feliciano's blog, momtrends.blogspot.com. The August 24th entry features some back-to-school sleep tips from me and other back-to-school tips. Enjoy.

I will be out of town for a week and will resume blogging on my return.

Happy Sleeping!!

Sleep Product Review: The Ultimate Out and About Sleep Set-up

The best place for a baby to take a nap is in their bedroom, but let's face it there are times when we can't or don't want to stay at home so our sweet little babies can take all their naps in their peaceful bedrooms. Sometimes we want to go to breakfast or take our other children to the park. Or sometimes we just have to take the other kids to ballet or gymnastics or wherever. There are solutions to allowing your precious little baby get their nap and still be out. Here is one option a friend of mine came up with:

Description:
Inside of a stroller that has a bassinet type option or possibly inside of their carseat create a sleep environment as close to their one at home as possible:

The Stroller
She uses the Easy DuoWalker (http://www.easywalker.nl/usa/duowalker.html) with the CarryCot (GREAT set-up). I have used my Graco stroller- fully reclined with the feet part up so it turns into a bassinet (http://www.gracobaby.com/catalog/product.aspx?modelNumber=7B11CAD3&CategoryID=12).

Noise Machine: Put some batteries in yours and take it along- put it right inside the bassinet. She uses the same wave sounds that she uses in her sons bedroom.

Sleep Positioner: Grab the sleep positioner from their crib (If they are out of this now- skip it).

Swaddle: Swaddle your baby just like you would at home (If they have outgrown the swaddle skip it too).

Darkness: Lay a breathable blanket to create the same dark environment at home over the top- block out that sun.

Binkie/Paci: She gives her little guy his favorite, loves the sucking and sleeps longer with it (just like she does at home).

The Goal: to create the same sleep environment you have created at home- to maximize the nap on-the-go.

Thank you DeNai for sharing. And good luck creating your sleep environment on-the-go. Please share any other sleep set-ups you have created for sleeping on-the-go.

Sleep Dilemma

Q: How do I keep my independent three- year old in his big boy bed?

A: There are a number of options for attacking this problem... all of which you may have to try in an attempt to rectify the situation... and you will have to figure out what works for your child.

• Set an appropriate bedtime based on your child's age-appropriate sleep needs.
  
• Make sure that you have a calming, consistent, and concise bedtime routine- possibly a bath, a story (not a library but a couple and not TV in place of a story), and to bed- avoid long drawn out routines, lists of excuses, and whatever else your creative child may conjure up.
• Have children get a drink and go potty before you put them in bed- take care of those inevitable excuses before they use them.
  
• Take the sleep environment into consideration. Turn off the lights- a dark room triggers sleep. Other sleep environment pluses: cool temperature, quiet, white noise.
• Maybe your child needs something comforting to sleep with: stuffed animal, blanket.
• Development of nighttime fears is normal and common at this age- leave their door open a crack if that helps them feel better, but I would avoid leaving bedroom lights on or forming any other habits that you don't want to continue. Also, think about the things that they watch- we don't want to give them something for their fears to feed on.

So, that covers everything to do to help prepare your child to stay in bed and fall asleep easily.

BUT, what if they don't stay in bed?

• Create a list of sleep rules along these lines: stay in bed, lay still, stay quiet, go to sleep (suggested from Healthy Sleep Habits). Go over these with your child before they go to sleep. Maybe demonstrate what this looks like or coach them through each of these actions, "Show me how you close your eyes sweetie." etc.
• If they get out of bed, silently walk them back to their room/bed. Don't give them any positive or negative attention- anything to converse about or add to staying up later. Do this again and again if it happens.
• Create an award system. Possibly give them a sticker on a card each night that they stay in their bed and when they get five stickers they get ___. Whatever is motivating to them.
• Call me or another sleep consultant to help you and your child get the sleep you need.
  

Saturday Sleep Tip

Set an early and appropriate bedtime and STICK TO IT. Preschoolers need between 10.5 and 13 hours of sleep a night. Toddlers need between 12 and 14 hours of sleep per night. Figure out what time they wake up or what time they have to be up for preschool or whatever your morning needs are and decide on a bedtime accordingly. Fight against falling into their persuasions of staying up later. Good luck.

Ponderings from Me: Transition to NO Nap

The dreadful transition from that oh so precious afternoon nap to no nap occurs sometime between age 3 and age 6. Marc Weisbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child states that at age 3- 91% still nap daily, at age 4- 50% still nap about 5 days a week, at age 5- 25% still nap about 4 days a week, and at age 6 the nap is pretty much gone.
My daughter transitioned out of her afternoon nap at around 3 1/2. She had been a good sleeper and good napper since she was 5 months old. Always had an early bedtime and no problem going to sleep at night. Then, around 3 1/2 my great napper started staying awake for hours when I put her to bed at night... just talking in her bed or whatever until 10 o'clock or so. This went on for a week or two. (I was not ready for her to not have a nap.) Finally, one day we skipped her nap and did a quiet time instead. That night she went right to sleep at 7 o'clock. From then on, she has been fine without a nap and goes to sleep immediately at 7 o'clock and wakes up at about 7 o'clock every morning. A nice, solid 12 hours of sleep.
And then, then follow-up question: what do they do during their past naptime? How can I continue to get stuff done?
I have a bunch of quiet activities that my 4-year old pulls out during her "quiet time". She knows that I have stuff to do during naptime and has become quite good about finding quiet activities to occupy herself. You may also try having them play in their room, spending sometime with them alone, having them watch a short show, giving them a stack of books to "read" on your bed, or?? Readers please share any of your ideas. And good luck finding solace in no naptime.

Question for You

How much sleep does your preschooler get a day?

Sleep Product Review: Petunia Pickle Bottom Sojuourn Sling

I have the Petunia Pickle Bottom Soujourn Sling that I LOVE!! (http://www.petunia.com/collections/original/sojournslings/) I have used it since my baby girl was born in March. It keeps them all tight (much like a swaddle), warm, and snuggly- a great sleep environment- when you have to be out. I would just put her in there, give her her paci and she would be out. I have also nursed in it numerous times- easy! This is great when you have older kids in school or activities and your little baby needs to sleep during one of these activities. As much as I hate for my little one to have naps on the go it happens.
I just used it on my trip to Oklahoma- she nursed in there, slept in there on the plane ride to and from and did wonderfully. It is also compact- fold up and throw in your purse. You can use it in three different positions- cradle, front, and hip. (http://www.petunia.com/questions/). We have actually just started using the front position which also works well (not for sleeping on the go but for carrying)
So, why do I love this one? I have actually used four different sling brands. I have liked them all. But, I honestly like this one the best for a variety of reasons: stretchy and soft fabric (I have not used one that is as stretchy), great pattern(s), comfortable to wear (more comfortable than the other four I have used), reversible, organic fabric.
The Serenity Sling does not have the same stretch, but fits differently making getting baby in and out easy and is just as cute! For more detailed descriptions visit their site: www.petuniapicklebottom.com

Sunday Sleep Dilemma: Preschoolers

Q: My preschooler comes home from school wired. He has no interest in taking a nap but needs to, what do I do?

A: Preschool can leave a child very excited about their day. If you can leave sometime between preschool pick-up and naptime that would be ideal. You may need to eat lunch (do that first). Then, depending on the amount of dirt and sweat he accumulated in his busy day a bath may be a good idea. Then, take some time to cool down and calm down: read a few books, have him tell you about his day, cuddle. Maybe just take 10-15 minutes but make it calming. And then explain that he needs to take a nap for a little bit so that you guys can have more fun in the afternoon. Also, make sure that the naptime isn't too late- you don't want him to become overtired, and you want to leave enough wake time before bedtime. Be calm, firm, and consistent in your naptime routine. Also, remember that sometime between age 3 and age 6 kids drop their naps... look for more on that later this week.

Saturday Sleep Tip: Preschoolers...

Create a short and calming sleep routine. Take care to not give into all the pre-sleep requests and excuses- it is okay to say no.

Sleep Ponderings from Me: How much sleep is enough sleep?

Does your baby, toddler, child get enough sleep? Do you know what signs to look for in your children that tell you if they have gotten enough sleep? They are probably fairly obvious- although we sometimes misinterpret them. They may even be similar to the signs we show when we are tired.
Possible signs that your child is NOT getting enough sleep: cranky, irritable, falls asleep in the car, you have to wake them up every morning, hyperactivity, falling asleep in class, acting out.
Possible signs that your child IS getting enough sleep: happy, alert, has organized sleep.
Important to sleep: consolidated sleep, soothes self back to sleep, regular sleeptimes.
Dr. Marc Weisbluth, in his book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, reminds us that it is never too late to help healthy children sleep better.

Question For You

What excuses do you hear from your children at bedtime? How do you combat these excuses?

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: How can I let a babysitter put my kids down to bed? I just haven't been able to let this happen.

A: First, you need to find a babysitter that you trust and that likes kids.
Second, you need to just do it and let what happens happen- babysitters are quite a blessing- you need to be able to go out with spouse, friends...
Third, you need to prepare your children for the babysitter- explain your expectations of them and what the night will look like for them (if they are at the appropriate age for such an explanation- otherwise skip this step).
Fourth, write out directions for your babysitter and your phone number (add tips like how the baby likes to be put down- they are not going to know these things. May even want to add things like don't put them down on their tummy- if the baby doesn't do this.)
Fifth, go over these verbally with the babysitter- show them where things are- paci, swaddling blanket, PJs, etc. Show them how to do anything they have questions about- they may be nervous about asking questions so be attentive to that. Also, you may want to do somethings for them- close the blinds, turn on noise makers, put out water cups, put out toothbrushes...
Sixth, go, have fun. And when you get back don't be cheap paying them- you want them to come back.
Seventh, reuse the good babysitters, get rid of the bad ones. It is nice when a babysitter starts to learn your routines and your kids like the consistency. We have a few favorite babysitters- and my kids love them, they know our routines, and my kids listen to them- even about bedtime. They do a great job!!

Saturday Sleep Tip

Although the time after your children go to sleep is such a sacred time where you get stuff done, relax, unwind... tomorrow will come quickly... figure out how you can get a nice 8 hours of sleep for yourself based on when your children wake you from your slumber. You and your children deserve it.

Sleep Ponderings from Me

Parents and Sleep: My kids are great sleepers. All three go to bed at seven and wake up at seven (give or take a few). They all go to bed fairly well- I of course hear the normal "just one mores" from my two-year old and four-year old... one more drink, got to go potty again... but really they go to sleep pretty easily.
But still, it seems like more often than I would like one of them is up in the night for some valid reason or another- bad dream, potty, sick, got stuck, fell out of bed, started rolling over and didn't like it, or whatever it may be. And although many times they go back to sleep without me even getting up, I still get woken up. This causes interruption in my sleep cycles, possibly causing the thoughts I had put to rest hours ago to begin again, the need to go potty, or whatever else adds to my sleep pause. Why is it that a mother's ears are so attune to their child's voices?
I love my babies, and I am so blessed to be able to take care of them full-time, but sometimes you just have to complain :). And I have been told numerous times by an amazing woman that this is the tiredest you will ever be. Sleep will come mamas.

Question for You

How do you create an adequate sleep environment for your child/children when you travel?

Sleep Ponderings from Courtney: Oklahoma Travel Reflection

First off, I have to say that my son is adorable... I hear him talking... as he is going to sleep, I hear him listing off all of our names and saying "Mama loves me... Papa loves me, etc." Too cute.

Now for my reflections on my travels to Oklahoma: Traveling in the airplane went just as I had expected. Going through security was long and a pain; I even had to wake my sweet baby from her peaceful sleep in her carseat. But, we got through and made it to the gate. On the plane, the older two kids skipped naps and my four month old napped in the indispensable sling which I equate to a life-saving device. My sweet baby was amazing- slept in the cozy sling for a good portion and then was awake for a bit. It was not easy or peaceful to say the least- but we made it and with only a minimal amount of dirty looks.

They adjusted fairly well to Oklahoma time. We had some later nights due to fun activities, but we basically ran on the new time zone. My two-year old and baby took their naps, and my baby got all her sleep on schedule.

Things to think about when traveling: How can you best create a similar sleep environment to the one they are used to at home (darkness, noise, times, sleep length, etc.)? Which fun events should you choose and which should you pass on to not overextend your child? (leaving you both miserable) Are babysitters an option? (so you can partake in all the fun and they can partake in all the sleep.)

Enjoy the rest of your summer travels. I wish that you will travel with husband in toe- the more hands the better.

Question for YOU

Do you get enough sleep?

please submit answers through comments

Sleep Product Review: Noise Maker/Sound Spa

White noise, sound spa, noise maker, fan...

I have found that some sort of noise making machine is helpful in sleep (especially when you have a small or loud house). After various loud sounds would wake my first child ALL THE TIME, I began using a fan to drown out outside noises during sleep.

After my fan stopped working- they do get old... I switched to a "sound spa". I have a Conair Infant Sound Machine in two of our bedrooms. I love this one- great sound selection, clock, reliable, easy to use, plug or batteries. (*The battery feature is great for traveling.) I have used a few other "sound spas" and this is currently my favorite. I have had no problems with this one. I have had difficulty finding it in stores- but it is easy to find online. Any other favorites.

Sunday Sleep Tip

Sleep begets sleep. I think many of us are under the natural assumption that the later we keep our kids up the later they will sleep. This idea is false. My kids sleep best when they are well slept. Simply remember that sleep begets sleep.

Summer Travels: Airplane Travel

I am about to leave to visit friends in Oklahoma... three kids, sans husband. We are flying... thank goodness for a direct flight! It is a three hour flight and we will be flying during two of the kids' naptimes... What to do about naps? Skip the nap, nap when we get there, try for a nap on the plane???

My four year-old doesn't take a nap, just a rest, so we are good there. My two year-old takes a two to three hour nap daily. I am going to have him skip the nap and go to bed a bit earlier, as long as he isn't completely wound up from being in a new place. And my three month-old... I am going to wear a sling (holds her tight like swaddling and provides some darkness) and give her a paci or nurse her to sleep on the plane. Thankfully, she is still at a pretty easy stage for naps on the go, although they have become lessAnd I think we will be well-slept, at least as good as it gets for traveling.

When I arrive in Oklahoma, we will have a two-hour time difference to deal with. I will switch them all immediately to Oklahoma time for sleep schedules. This is when it is good that they are worn out from traveling; they are usually always ready to sleep.

I think it is good to go into traveling with a plan that will optimize and make sleep possible, but also with the realistic expectation that things will not always go as intended. So, do your best when traveling. But, be ready to be flexible and adjust for circumstances: flights being delayed, the flight attendant waking everyone up on the plane as she asks "what beverage would you like? peanuts anyone?", one of the kids needing to go potty and you having to truck the whole group to the miniscule bathroom, or whatever it may be. Smile. You can always have a margarita when you get there. And remember do your best to allow for sleep: well-slept children will make the trip more enjoyable for everyone.

A New Baby in the House: Toddler Reaction

My son has been a good sleeper since he was born. I was very deliberate about his sleep- routine, making sure he got enough, etc. When my third child was born... he began to act out during sleep times- naps, bedtime. He would get up immediately after being put down- not something we had ever dealt with before. For a couple days I would try comforting him (feeling sorry for him being displaced somewhat by the new baby); I'd take him back to bed when he got up... Nothing worked and it got worse- he skipped a nap, went to sleep too late... All things that I couldn't deal with with a newborn and lack of sleep myself. One night I took him back to bed 84 times from 7pm to 8:45 pm. I gave him no attention but taking him back to his bed. The idea was not to give him positive or negative attention. This ended up turning into a game for him. So, I ended up holding his door closed so he couldn't get out. He cried for 20 minutes and then went to sleep for the night. I did this for his nap and bedtime the next day- he cried for five minutes each time and then went to sleep. The next day, he just checked that he couldn't get out and went to sleep. This solved our sleep problem.

Later, I read that I could have kept trying the "taking him back" approach and after a few days he would have stayed in bed. I don't think that would have worked in our situation: tired mom, breastfeeding, overtired toddler...

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3. Disclaimer

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8. Governing Law

Any claim relating to Lullaby Luna's web site shall be governed by the laws of the State of California without regard to its conflict of law provisions.

General Terms and Conditions applicable to Use of a Web Site.

Privacy Policy

Your privacy is very important to us. Accordingly, we have developed this Policy in order for you to understand how we collect, use, communicate and disclose and make use of personal information. The following outlines our privacy policy.

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Disclosure Policy

This policy is valid from 14 July 2009


This blog is a personal blog written and edited by me. For questions about this blog, please contact Courtney (Courtney at lullabyluna dot com).


This blog does not accept any form of cash advertising, sponsorship, or paid topic insertions. However, we will and do accept and keep free products, services, travel, event tickets, and other forms of compensation from companies and organizations.

The compensation received will never influence the content, topics or posts made in this blog. All advertising is in the form of advertisements generated by a third party ad network. Those advertisements will be identified as paid advertisements.

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This blog does not contain any content which might present a conflict of interest.


To get your own policy, go to http://www.disclosurepolicy.org

• National Sleep Foundation: Children and Sleep www.sleepfoundation.org
• A Parent's Guide to Safe Sleep www.healthychildcare.org
• AAP SIDS Policy Recommendations
  

DeNai Jones: The center of DeNai's life is her family- her husband and business partner of ten years, son Sutton who is almost 3, and their new addition Miller- 9 months. Her down time and professional life is spent at Petunia Pickle Bottom of which she is the Founder/Designer.

"How do I begin to give praises to Courtney's sound advice in helping my husband and I get our son to sleep through the night. We had read all of the books, tried our hardest to stick their advice and be consistent but it took the hands on approach from Courtney to get us on the right track and stay on track. We can now say we successfully have an almost three year old that sleeps eleven hours solid and a nine month old that got on the right track from day one-and yes, sleeps through the night. What a difference sleep has made in our family's life, we have more patience, more love, and more energy to make our waking hours purposeful and enjoyable."

Jenny Loomer: Jenny is a stay-at-home-mom and part-time high school counselor. She has a 3 year-old son, Nate, and a 1 year-old daughter, Cora.

"Courtney was an incredible resource to me with the frequent 'What do I do in this situation?' questions. I read all the books and began parenting with an overall understanding of sleep, but little ones don't always follow the rules! With a baby and toddler things are always changing. Courtney helped me troubleshoot to figure out what would work well for our family. She has also helped me with consistency- a key with little ones! I am thankful for email- and being able to check in when I have another question."

Taylor and Josh Nordgren: Taylor is a stay-at-home mom. Josh is a high school youth pastor. They have a 1 year-old son, Jack.

"We knew we wanted our son to approach sleep like Courtney's kids; there
is no nonsense, they fall asleep in their own beds by themselves,
sleep through the night, and all wake up well-rested.We didn't think
such a small request could be so hard to attain.

When it came time for sleep training with our son, we needed help! We
had no idea how to get our son to sleep and stay asleep. Courtney's
services proved invaluable. She listened to our 101 questions, was
always available when we needed reassurance as we let our son "cry it
out," and has given us TONS of practical sleep help. If we hadn't had
her, we'd all still be sleepless.

Getting your child on a healthy sleep schedule and then protecting
your child's need for sleep is a hard thing to maintain. You need
support. Courtney's services are the best I've found.

LullabyLuna.com is pleased to offer the following services for you and your family.

Sleep Consultant: Courtney Graham

Contact: courtney@lullabyluna.com

Location: Ventura, California

Rates

Email Question "I Need Help Now!": $20 per email. This will answer any of your questions or issues that you need an answer to- does not include sleep history, follow-ups... Additional follow-up questions will be $25 per email. (Note: these are thorough emails that answer your question and may provide you with a few courses of action).

Phone Question ""I Need Help Now!": $50 per phone call. This will answer any of your questions or issues that you need an answer to- does not include sleep history, follow-ups... Additional follow-up questions will be $50 per email. (Note: these are thorough emails that answer your question and may provide you with a few courses of action).

Phone or Email Consult: $120 per 1 hour consult (includes: initial sleep history, 1- 30 minute initial consultation, sleep plan, 1- 30 minute planning meeting, 5 email and/or phone follow-ups)

In-Person Consult: $300 (includes: initial sleep history, 30-minute initial consultation in-person, sleep plan, 1 hour in-person meeting to go over the plan, 10 follow-up phone calls or 10 follow-up emails or any combination)

Additional Emails: $15 per email question or $75 for a week subscription or $150 for a month subscription or $300 for a year long subscription - YOU MUST HAVE COMPLETED A CONSULT TO ADD THIS PACKAGE.

Group sleep consultation: 4 person group session (1.5 hours) is $50 per person; 3 person group session (1.5 hours) is $60 per person

Sleep Party: There are parties for everything under the sun now, so why not host a sleep party (invite as many friends as you would like). A party is 2 hours long and includes 30 minutes of sleep information related to your kids ages, 30 minutes of Q and A, 30 minutes of sleep product review (a preview of what is out there and what works), and 30 minutes to check out the products, ask individual questions, eat, drink, and socialize. Cost: $200 (share the cost however you wish)

Other options: Please contact Courtney if you would like to develop a customized plan for you and your situation.

*All work and success is subject to parent participation and parent follow-through.

As a mother of three children, I have seen my fair share of sleepless nights. Over the course of raising my two daughters (5 years and 9 months) and son (2.5 years), I have tried nearly every philosophy and sleep gizmo under the sun, and in the process, have learned a lot about creating the habits, attitudes and environment to ensure well-rested children. Sleep is one of the most vital ingredients to a child’s development (and to maintaining your sanity as a parent!). Children who sleep well are often happier and healthier as the quality and quantity of their sleep impacts their emotional, mental and physical development. According to the National Sleep Foundation's 2004 Sleep Poll, "It is clear that we need to focus as much on the sleeping half of children's lives as we do the waking half. Children are clearly not getting enough sleep. And a remarkable number of children have some kind of sleep problem. We need to help parents to become better educated about positive sleep practices so that their children can get the sleep they need to be able to function at their best during the day. The poll results indicate that on average, children get less sleep during a 24-hour period than recommended by sleep experts."

Though I have worked as a private sleep consultant in Southern California since 2006, Lullaby Luna was formally launched in 2008 as a place to share advice, provide information, and support parents dealing with sleep issues. With nearly a decade of elementary and middle school teaching experience and a Masters in Education, my hope is to continue my passion for teaching by helping parents who are concerned about their children’s sleep habits.

I initially became interested in child sleep out of necessity. As a first-time mom, I read all the pregnancy books, took prenatal classes, wrote out an extensive birth plan and had my hospital bag packed weeks before my due date. But as often happens, my labor did not go as I had planned. Nevertheless, 29 hours later I had my beautiful baby girl in my arms. She was beautiful, amazing, wonderful…and crying. I fed her every 2-3 hours, changed her diapers, and bathed her, but still she cried. Sleep didn’t come easily for her either –– she always needed to be moving, rocking, swaying. Days of this became weeks and weeks turned into months. She was tired. I was tired. Something had to change.

At that time, I didn't belong to a mom's group or have many friends that were parents. Without many places to turn to for advice, I began reading. My bookshelves were littered with sleep books, and I tried nearly every technique they suggested. Co-sleeping? Done it. Cry it out? Been there. From blankets and binkies to sleep schedules and the 5 S’s, I’ve tried it all. My husband still jokes about me optimistically saying, "Babe, this is the new sleep plan. This is it!" time after time.

At five months, I finally made some big changes and my sweet daughter started sleeping through the night and taking two regular naps a day, both of which dramatically reduced her crying. I returned to being a functioning adult too which was fortunate because about this time, I went back to work part-time.

I am thankful to have gone through these struggles with my first baby because I learned so much that was helpful for my second and third babies. Based on the skills and techniques that I acquired, my second and third have regularly taken consistent daily naps and slept continuously through the night since infancy.

I was once an over-tired mom with an under-rested baby. Some people presume that this is an unchangeable aspect of parenting. But this is not the case. You and your children deserve to be well-rested. If you’re not, welcome to Lullaby Luna. I hope that you will find ideas, tips, support and creative solutions to your sleep woes. Click here to take our sleep quiz to see if your or your child’s sleep habits could be improved. Click here to subscribe to our daily blog and find sleep tips, product recommendations and discussions with other parents on sleep concerns. Click here to visit the Resources page to find helpful sleep-related websites or click here to contact me directly to share your success stories, ask a question or request a sleep consultation via email, phone or personal visit.

Whether you are planning ahead for a new baby or currently struggling with your child’s sleep issues, I hope this site provides you with the resources, information and encouragement to start you on the road to having a well-rested child.

Happy sleeping,

Courtney Graham

Answer the following questions yes/true or no/false.

1. My child/children wake me up on a regular basis.

2. My child/children have sleep "issues".

3. I am always tired.

4. I do not know how to get my child to sleep through the night.

5. I do not know how to get my child to take a nap.

6. We do not have a sleep routine in our house.

7. We do not have a sleep schedule in our house.

8. I have never thought about a child's sleep environment.

9. My child has consistently poor behavior where it is hard for them to keep it together.

10. My child goes to bed when I do.

11. My child cannot go to sleep unless I am holding him.

12. My child cannot go to sleep unless he is moving (car, swing...).

13. My child cannot put himself back to sleep.

14. My child falls asleep in class.

15. My child has problems focusing and paying attention in class.

If you answered yes to more than one of these questions you may be in need of a sleep consultant.