Sleep Ponderings from Me: How I Deal with the Light Nights

I have been sick this past week, so last night I was laying in bed while my husband put our kids down. I heard my three-year old son telling him, "It's not bedtime. It's still light outside. Why do I have to go to bed in the day?"My husband proceeded to tell him that even though it it light out it is still night time and bedtime, kissed him, and told him goodnight.

At our house, we don't use the light to determine our childrens' bedtime; we use their amount of needed sleep. Our kids need to go to bed at 7pm (give or take a few) to be well-rested and thus well-tempered the next day. Both my husband and I can tell a significant difference in their behavior if their needed sleep is compromised, so we make it a point to do this as infrequently as possible... even when they protest, even when it is still light out; even when they protest about it being light out. You can see it in the way my husband handled my son's "light outside" question.

Some tips for keeping their bedtime appropriate as the days get longer:
-continue with your sleep schedule and bedtime routine
-make sure their bedroom is dark- darkness cues sleep
-use a sound spa to drown out outside noises that may provoke curiosity and wandering
-stick to the plan- don't waiver by your child's protests- it is good and ok to set boundaries and say no
-pay attention to the clock- make sure that you eat dinner at the same time and not let the continued light push evening events back and thus push bedtime back

Saturday Sleep Tip

Let's take a minute and look at our children's daily schedules. What do they look like? What is filling their time? Do we compromise our children's sleep to fit everything in (sports, ballet, exercise, errands, dinner, homework)?

"Overstimulated, overscheduled kids are getting at least an hour's less sleep than they need, a deficiency that, new research reveals, has the power to set their cognitive abilities back years." (Bronson, NYmag).

Have you asked your child/teen if they are tired? If they have daytime sleepiness? Do they fall asleep in class? Are they cranky and irritable (more than is age appropriate)?

"While parents obsess over babies' sleep, this concern falls off the priority list after preschool. Even kindergartners get 30 minutes less a night than they used to."

How much sleep does your child get? How much should they get? In general, newborns should nap after 1-2 hours of being awake and then sleep for a large amount of time with feedings mixed in. Infants will then transition to a three or maybe straight to a two nap a day schedule through 12-18 months. They should get 14-15 hours of sleep. Toddlers will have an afternoon nap and should get about 12-14 hours of sleep per day. Preschoolers may or may not have an afternoon nap and will continue with 11-13 hours of sleep per day. School age children should get 10-11 hours per day. Adolescents should get 8 1/2- 9 1/2 hours per day.

"There are many causes for this lost hours of sleep. Overscheduling of activities, burdensome homework, lax bedtimes, televisions and cell phones in the bedroom all contribute. So does guilt; home from work after dark, parents want time with their children..."

I would take a good look at all the activities that fill my child's time. What is necessary? What can be cut? How can time be used more efficiently and effectively so they can get the needed amount of sleep? When as a parent do I need to say no? What rules and boundaries need to be put into effect in my house?

"... sleep affects academic performance and emotional stability, as well as phenomena that we assumed to be entirely unrelated, such as the international obesity epidemic and the rise of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. A few scientists theorize that sleep problems during formative years can cause permanent changes in a child's brain structure: damage that one can't sleep off... It's even possible that many of the hallmark characteristics of being a tweener and teen- moodiness, depression, and even binge eating- are actually symptoms of chronic sleep deprivation."

Even though these studies are not conclusive, you get the idea that the effects of poor sleep or sleep deprivation are serious. We all know that a well-rested Me is better than it's exhausted counter-part. We need sleep to function well, and our children need sleep as well. We have to be the authority that makes this happen.

Sunday Sleep Dilemma

Q: My 3 year-old doesn't seem tired until 8:30-9pm, so we wait until then to put her down. In the morning she seems extremely cranky, could she be tired?

A: Hyperactivity is a sign of being tired, so a child can act full of energy and still need to go to sleep. And some older children don't give clear sleep signs- yawning, saying they are tired, or such.

I suggest basing your child's bedtime on an age appropriate amount of sleep needed. A three-year old may or may not have an afternoon nap, and she should get around 12-14 hours of sleep a day. If she is cranky in the morning she probably needs more sleep. Be firm and set clear and consistent limits when it comes to bedtime. A short and simple bedtime routine with clear expectations is a great way to start. Explain that at night she is going to take a bath after dinner, brush teeth, put on PJs, and then she gets to listen to you read two books (be specific- so it isn't the endless"And another one.")

Be Wary: Don't let your child suck away her much needed sleep with excuses and delaying. As parents we need to protect their much needed sleep and say no when needed.