As I think about traveling this summer and all the joys and miseries of travel with young children, I am reminded of a recent experience that I think could easily transfer to better sleep in small confined space during travels this summer.
Recently, due to finances my family had to rent out our house and move in with my parents for 7 months. We just moved back and our happy to be in our own space and thankful to my parents for extending their gracious hand...
But, while we were staying with them my three children had to share a bedroom. When we moved in they were 4, 2, and 6 months. My youngest and oldest had been sharing a room successfully since my baby was a couple months old. My two-year old son had had his own room and struggled to go to sleep in the same room as his sisters nightly. I identified this struggle as related to his crazy boy nature and his age. Eventually, we just started putting him to sleep at night in our room and then moving him when we went to bed. This was difficult since our room was really our only quiet space... but we dealt.
Towards the end of our stay, I had been reading a book called Raising Godly Tomatoes by Elizabeth Krueger. (This book is Christian based but no matter your beliefs it has many valuable lessons to teach). Anyways, she talks about having your children always obey and wait for them to do it versus solely disciplining them for not obeying and moving on. She also talks about having them practice the behaviors you want them to do. As I reflected on this thought, I was shocked I had never come up with it on my own. As a teacher, I knew the huge importance of modeling and practice. I often had my children practice different things, and I often modeled the correct way to respond to something (whether that be without an attitude or using please/thank you...). But, I had never completed the connection with following up disobedience with practice, modeling, and waiting for them to obey.
One evening, as I was getting ready to put my son to bed in my bed and the girls in the kids room, I stopped. I had stuff I needed to do- pay bills, sit in silence... I decided that we should practice having all the kids sleep in the same room right then. So, I had my son and oldest daughter get in their beds and we turned off the light and then practiced "sleeping" without messing around or talking to each other. Then, I had them get up quietly and practice leaving their room (the baby usually gets woken up by the older two in the morning). Then, we practiced this a few more times. That night my kids all went straight to sleep without a peep... and the next night... and the next...
My son was a bit older at the time I did this training than when we moved in, and they had been living in this situation for months. These could have been factors that effected the situation and outcome. But, we need to take a minute and think that sometimes we have expectations for our children to do things that that they may not completely grasp. It is amazing what a bit of practice, modeling, and clear guidance can do for our children's understanding in any situation.
This summer as you share a hotel room, or a tent, or have to sleep in the car on a long road trip... instead of just telling your children to go to sleep in the new situation and then getting frustrated with them when they don't... take the time to model for them what you expect this to look like. And then have them practice a few times to get the feel for what you are expecting. It may make a world of a difference.
*Also, try to recreate your child's sleep environment to the best of your ability: bring their lovies, read a story if that is part of your routine, bring a sound spa- they take batteries, try to make it dark (hotel rooms are great for this). Try to follow a similar routine to the one you follow at home.
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